“If you are given a chance to be a role model, I think you should always take it because you can influence a person’s life in a positive light, and that’s what I want to do. That’s what it’s all about.” – Tiger Woods
We usually think of role models as those we admire and wish to emulate. When someone asks us, ‘‘who is your role model”, we often feel clueless or we have a hero or two in mind. There is no “perfect” answer, even though there are many options available in our life and society. It’s hard to pick a particular role model who fits us, mainly because we know we should be realistic in choosing a role model who suits specific goals we have for ourselves or role models who represent a certain area of our life. Sometimes our mind rejects those we may think are unattainable or assumes you can never become someone like that in terms of the heights they have reached, especially if they did so against the odds or adverse situations.
However, it’s time to stop looking for the perfect role model. Instead, be a role model. People in your life may be struggling to have effective, positive and strong role models in their lives (especially if you recognise the reasons I have given already) and you can plug that gap. There are some common characteristics and actions you can incorporate. Here are seven frequently mentioned qualities:
Set Goals: You need to set yourself clear goals and follow them through to completion, regardless of the size of the challenge. High achievers are able to reach the pinnacles of success because they pour their energy into their passions. The degree of dedication and discipline adopted in your life will lead you to success. This makes you a good role model to others – someone who sets goals and goes on to achieve them or work solidly towards them.
Stay Committed to Your Goals: You need to demonstrate your commitment to the desired goal and be willing to invest the necessary time and effort towards its fulfillment. Don’t give up your goals easily, and practice persevere when confronted by obstacles.
Be Resilient: You will go through a lot of downturns, dark moments, rough patches and multiple failures but never lose sight of your goal. Keep your focus on your goals, adapt, and get things back on track; and this requires resilience and perseverance.
Be Selfless: You need to demonstrate selflessness and a democratic, non-prejudiced view of those different from yourself and earn the admiration of others. This characteristic will inspire others greatly.
Be knowledgeable and well rounded: You need to seek opportunities that will expand your mind and understanding of life. Be open and able to ask questions, learn, grow and challenge yourself. Lastly, do your best to never be the smartest person in your group.
Have
humility: To
be a role model, you have to embrace the prospect of failure. Be humble with
your victories when appropriate. The sweetest victory is often the one that’s
most difficult. It is fine to show that you found things difficult.
High achievers also often focus on the positives of every achievement and they
don’t stop there. They enjoy the successes, they celebrate when deserved, but
they keep pushing on for the next one. You have to know that focusing on the
negatives in any given situation will only serve to destroy your confidence and
shatter any chances of speeding you up on your road to success.
Be a Good Listener: What will separate you from the others is your capacity to listen. While many people listen to respond, a role model listens, then internalises before asking questions. Active listening fuels collaboration.
Have Integrity: When you live your life with integrity, it means that you let your actions speak for who you are and what you believe in. Integrity is a choice you make, and it’s a choice you must keep making, over and over and over again.
When you show integrity, you become a role model, whether you like it or not. Why? Because integrity is a hallmark of ethical leadership – companies, clients, co-workers, stakeholders, churches, communities, and families want peoples that they can trust, and when you demonstrate integrity, you show everyone you can be trusted and respected.
Here’s a great article that goes into this in more detail: How to Live with Integrity.
Empathise: Quite simply, put yourself in others’ shoes – it is not as easy as it seems. Ask yourself, if you were in their place, what might you be thinking and how might you be feeling?
Here’s a great article that goes into this in more detail: 8 Scientific Ways To Improve & Increase Your Empathy.
Slow Down and Think: It takes energy to look calm and composed in the face of difficulty, and it can take years of experience to know how to do this effectively. Do you consciously take a moment to consider how you can best engage with people? Are you aware of your body language and what message is your demeanour conveying beyond the spoken word?
“You are in charge of your feelings, beliefs, and actions. And you teach others how to behave toward you. While you cannot change other people, you can influence them through your own behaviors and actions. By being a living role model of what you want to receive from others, you create more of what you want in your life.” – Eric Allenbaugh.
Role models have a huge part to play in life. Whether we intend to do so or not, we are all influencing those around us in some way. Even research confirms it. A recent study shows that role models clearly have a positive impact on girls’ perception of STEM subjects (science, technology, engineering and maths). On average, across Europe, 41 percent of girls with role models report an interest in STEM subjects, compared to 26 percent of girls without a role model.
There will always be someone, somewhere looking up to us, or admiring us. Whether it’s peer to peer, or a senior leader inspiring the next generation; seeing how other people choose to work, or how they’ve achieved success is inspiring and influential. And for any minority or diverse group – be that LGBT+, women, or an ethnic minority in a particular country or society – this can be a real symbol of hope. Seeing people who remind you of yourself in some way, or remind you of the person you want to be. Seeing that your background, gender, ethnicity or sexuality don’t need to hold you back in any way. That’s a very powerful thing.
“I know that being seen as a role model means taking responsibility for all my actions. I am human, and of course, sometimes I make mistakes. But I promise that when I fall, I get back up.” – Jennifer Lopez
Consider the kind of role model you’d like in your life, and then also consider being a good role model to yourself – lead by example in your own life.
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