Today, I’m writing about how to value yourself more.

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” – Lucille Ball

We all have the capacity to love and value ourselves a huge amount and in a variety of ways; the benefits of doing so are great and will enrich our lives in a number of ways.

Why is it important to accept and embrace what you are?

That oft used adage – where our mind goes, energy flows. If much of your focus is on what you don’t like about yourself, your energy likely goes in that direction as well. Meaning, if you always disapprove of what you are today, you will continue to attract more proof, instances, and events that reinforce this unacceptance of self. And progress toward changing these things becomes more challenging.

If you practice self-love and accept who you are today, you release more of any anger and tension. You let go of needing to change and instead progress and grow because it feels good, because you’re not fighting with yourself, you are developing.

This is important because if you’re spending your time fighting who you are, and all your energy and focus is on what you don’t like about yourself, this is amplified in your awareness.

But, If you love and accept yourself for who you are, and focus instead on how great it feels to improve and grow positively… you respond to yourself, “Oh, you like to grow and change yourself? Great! Here is more growth, positive change and awesome progress for you!”

Practice valuing yourself for who you are. This will release the need to dwell on the parts you don’t like and encourage your mind to think about positive personal growth. Here are a couple of other articles on these topics that will help greatly too:

“Who you are” is very dependent upon the way you think and do. These following steps will help you to value yourself more.

1. Fake it till you make it

“Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.” – Malcolm S. Forbes

It is magnificent how the brain works. If it is a lack of self-esteem, simply act up your confidence. When sitting with people, use body language to your benefit. “Make yourself bigger”, do not cross your hands, put your hands between your legs, or around yourself. On the contrary, spread your hands on the couch next to you and act confident. It’ll make you feel more confident, and also teach you how to be more confident.

2. Be kind to others

“Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.” – William James

Being nice to others makes someone feel better instantly. Not because of the compliments, but because you know that you helped someone. For example giving a sandwich to a homeless person, talking to a shy person who is not fitting-in in the office, school, or club, or even helping your neighbour lift some furniture in their house are examples of small things you can do that can help others and as well make you feel better about yourself.

3. Don’t compare yourself with others

Each and every person is unique. Think about it, there are 7 billion people on earth, and there is no single person like you. That is something you could brag about.

Your friend or colleague might be better at what they do, have a perfect family, charming, and know how to act in every situation. Some people are born with it, and some work on becoming like that. Instead of feeling bad about yourself, try to develop qualities in yourself that would make you a better person. Furthermore, studies now show that basing one’s self-worth on external factors is actually harmful to one’s mental health. Dr. Firestone advises, “We shouldn’t be rating ourselves, we should just be ourselves.”

Read this article for more on this subject: Stop comparing yourself with others.

4. Invest in yourself

“Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life; define yourself.” – Harvey Fierstein

The biggest investment you can ever make is invest in yourself. You have 24 hours a day, 8 hours for sleep, and 8 hours for work or school. You still have around 8 hours for yourself. If you give yourself 2 hours a day on developing a skill, reading, or learning something, imagine what you can achieve a year from now.

5. Get out of your comfort zone

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Your biggest enemy can be yourself. If you don’t feel like hitting the gym, put on your trainers and go for a walk or a run; if you don’t feel like going to a friends or family gathering, just go and chat online with some friends or give someone a call.

6. Be conscious of the way you talk to yourself

New Study suggests we have over 6,200 thoughts in a day. A lot of those thoughts are just mindless chatter that we probably can’t even remember at this point. Try to notice, how you talk to yourself. Are you being kind to yourself? Are you mean? Especially notice how you talk to yourself when things aren’t going your way.

Would you like it if someone talked to you that way? Then why talk to yourself that way? Be kind to yourself, you deserve it. Cut yourself some slack if you’ve messed up. When you do this consistently, you will feel better about yourself.

7. Keep a gratitude journal

If you practice gratitude, you get to become more content in life in a number of ways. Without gratitude, some people resent the present and the future because they just can’t appreciate the things they have in their life. Create or even purchase a gratitude journal, there are several available online.

You can be thankful for anything in life, the smallest of smallest things. Some examples include the warmth of the sun, your morning coffee, your pet, having breakfast, etc. Gratitude creates positive emotions that build stronger relationships with others and yourself. When you are thankful, you are exuding positive energy, and becoming a magnet for the same. Read more on this subject here: The Science of Gratitude.

8. Do something you love

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” – Buddha

Indulging in doing something you enjoy creates positive experiences and feelings. It makes you feel good about yourself. Find something you enjoy and immerse yourself in it.

What do you like to do when you’re not bound by the responsibilities of society? Try out new things, to learn more about yourself. Go for a painting class, visit your local museum, take a road trip, go for a hike, volunteer at an animal shelter. Learn more about your passion, and ensure your inner fire burning.

9. Celebrate your small wins

One of the most important aspects regarding building, and most importantly, maintaining a high level of self-esteem is to train yourself and your brain to acknowledge and celebrate any wins, no matter how small you think they are.

You might think that some actions or achievements aren’t ‘Big’ enough, but you’re probably wrong. We are creatures that are often defined by progress and achievement.

According to research, every time you successfully accomplish something, your brain releases a shot of dopamine, one of the key hormones that are responsible for happiness and well-being.

Those accomplishments don’t have to be colossal feats; they can be as small as grabbing yourself out of bed and showing up when you felt like curling up for the whole day under your duvet.

Train yourself to acknowledge and celebrate every little win. Start applauding yourself for writing those words, finishing those tasks, cleaning your room, cutting your hair, grabbing your groceries and all those activities that you might think are insignificant.

That way, you’re rewiring your brain to fire up dopamine every time you think that way, which ultimately helps keep you motivated and self-confident.

10. Let yourself become vulnerable

When you’re trying to embrace yourself and clean your old and damaged self-image, it’s imperative to understand the difference between strength and resilience.

Resilience essentially means telling yourself that it’s OK to fall back once, twice or even a thousand times, as long as you get back even stronger.

It’s crucial to be mindful and self-aware and understand that you might encounter setbacks and falls and that they are all perfectly natural obstacles on your path to self-confidence and happiness.

So, when you feel that you’re falling back once again, tell yourself that it is fine, don’t beat yourself for it, and use that disappointment as fuel for rising back up more confident and self-accepting.

11. Prioritise self-care

For many, this step is an essential element for sustainable self-confidence, inner peace, and overall happiness and well-being.

When you’re on the path to embracing your true self, you may sometime become too occupied with the thoughts of trying to stay positive, and that may be actually counterproductive.

Recharging can simply mean putting yourself and your peace as a first priority, as some people (especially empathetic, introverted, and highly emotional people) can suffer from an emotional burnout.

Therefore, you must allow yourself to recharge your psychological and spiritual batteries. You can do that by rewarding yourself with a nice meal after a day of hard work, by hanging out with positive high-vibe people you love to be around, or by snuggling after a tiring day under your blanket with some popcorn and a great film. Or meditate, nap, relax in whatever way helps you the most.


Your past experiences should not and don’t have to dictate your present and future. If you’re truly determined to build an unshakable self-confidence and love yourself more in a healthy, constructive way, you can definitely do that by following the steps outlined above and repeating them whenever necessary.

“Until you value yourself, you won’t value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it.” – M. Scott Peck


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