It may sound like an unusual question “are your friends making you poor?” Yet, for many of us, they are. Let me explain…
I can remember a profound moment in my life… I was about to pack in my business because it was not providing me with a good enough living and I was verging on poverty. As a last chance, I started reading about how to be wealthy from lots and lots of success gurus and millionaires.
I know, I should have done this before I began, heck, I was young and naive.
I listened and read lots of stuff by Brian Tracey and one particular thing stuck out on this particular day that changed my life in soooo many ways…
He said that, as an exercise, you should write down the income of the 5 people you have most to do with in your life. I did that. He then advised to add the amount up and divide by 5 to get the average… That figure was an amount that I should expect as my own average income as a result.
I gulped heavily at this prospect.
Now, I am not suggesting that this is true on all levels or that you should live your life by this rule… However, when I looked at the people that I had the most contact with, they were all in debt, poor, with a poverty consciousness, not as successful as they could/should/would have been and all in all, I realised that this was likely to influence me in some way, at some level.
Over a period of time, I consciously chose to build friendships, work alongside and connect with more people that were millionaires, people who were legitimately successful, people who made me laugh, people who were fulfilled, people who had a prosperity mindset and winners (in my opinion) of all kinds… I made lots of new friends and those friendships have served me incredibly well.
For the past couple of weeks and for the rest of this month, my ezine has been focusing on living with a mindset that excels over and above the mindset of those getting caught up with recession talk… I advise you to read it all; there is some gold in there! (You can sign up on most pages on this website)
In keeping with that thread of thought, I wanted to reiterate a point I make in many parts of my work.
In one word — Vacuum.
Let me explain… When I have been skiing and left footprints in any patch of snow, you can bet those footprints were covered up by wind, snow and other footprints and I wouldn’t find them again. When I have been walking on the beaches outside my home or anywhere else in the world, I am sure that you have seen what happens when you leave footprints in the sand on the beach — the sea and the wind soon fills them in.
Nature does not stand for a vacuum. It does not let it go too long without being filled. I can remember the impressions I would get on my face from sucking all the air out of plastic drinks bottles or cups when I was younger. Nature rushes to fill that vacuum. Now since the inherent nature of the universe is good, a vacuum will always be filled with good. So when you need more of something that you are after — create a vacuum. You can apply this principle in so many areas of your life, especially when you are in need of more progressive people influncing your life!
I believe in being an individual wholeheartedly… Yet you cannot not be influenced by those you come into most contact with.
A vacuum is a natural law and learning how to create and use a vacuum is a very powerful thing to do.
If you want some new shoes, simply give some of your old ones to charity. Do the same with old clothes if you want some new ones. If you feel stressed and busy, tidy up or dispose of some of the clutter in your immediate environment, maybe at home or at work. Simply cleaning off your desk, sorting out all that paperwork, picking your clothes up off the floor or making your bed can bring lots more harmony into your life. Cleaning out the bathroom cabinet, a wardrobe or storage cupboard, not to mention the garage, is going to do the same thing. My Mum used to get so much joy when Spring cleaning came around… I used to hate it, my bedroom, my mess, getting disrupted!
So as a first step in the process of creating a vacuum in your life, how about you think about cleaning out a cupboard, your drawers, your briefcase, your work desk, the bathroom cabinet or whatever else, really go and clean one of those out this very day.
This does not only apply to the physical things in life of course.
Letting go of thoughts of hate, lack, guilt, wanting bad things to happen to others or letting go of thoughts of revenge all create a vacuum for hope, joy and happiness to return and flood your heart with well-being. If you are not experiencing all that you want in life, it often means that you are holding on to something that you should be released.
You can use this notion to bring more wealth, confidence, courage, motivation and inspiration into your life. Anything you like.
You know that you well and truly are surrounded by good everywhere. It is all around us and within us and the universe is poised to fill the gaps with it. The only lack is the lack in your mind. Open your mind to receive whatever you want, create a vacuum to hold it, and you are going to attract it. Mark my words.
Maybe… Just maybe… And as sad (or heartless) as it may sound… We sometimes hold on to the wrong people in our lives and as we look to move onwards and upwards with our lives… Maybe we need to let go, create a vacuum and let more of the right kinds of people into our lives and refuse to be dragged into recession thought processes as the media attempts to hypnotise us into.
Any riend complaining about the recession right now or worrying about it or allowing themselves to be influenced by the media messages about it… May be someone whose influence you could do without in your life.
Couldn’t agree more Adam. And you can say “Law of Attraction” or “Conscious Creation”… 🙂
Hmm… So basically I should ditch my friends? 🙂 I don’t think I’m willing to do that, they are more interesting than folks who are overly money-orientated. I understand though, you absorb the negative thoughts around you & so are more likely to get such results from the universe.
Hello Jen… Do I detect you being a tad facetious? 😉
I am not suggesting that people only associate with people who are ‘overly money-orientated’ – to be honest, those that are ‘overly’ so could cause problems.
What I am suggesting, is that people look at letting go of, or lessening contact with, people who could be holding you back.
Not only do you ‘abosrb negative thoughts’ of those around you… You learn from them, adopt much from them, are educated by them, empathise with them etc, etc.
Those people that are not necessarily happy with their circumstances could learn a great deal from taking a close look at those people they spend most time with, that is all. Many relationships, friendships and associations can be harmful to achievement.
And by the way… Many people are capable of being ‘interesting’ AND having a proseprity consciousness, you know! 🙂
This is a funny one isn’t it? I have had 9 emails today from people too scared to reply publicly in the comment thread… Come on guys, take the plunge into the big wide world, it is not that scary!!
Many people have said things like “I like my friends… They are kinder than rich people…” or something along those lines.
Let me say something – it is not honourbale to be poor. It is not somehow virtuous to struggle financially and give that old chesnut of “being honest” – why do so many people insist on that line?
Having money, or being well-off, or living well, or whatever having wealth means to you does not make you some evil tyrant. Do you think I am evil? I am interested in being well off and I love my lifestyle.
Yet, I also dedicate my life to doing good, having fun, interacting with virtuous people, I give much money to good causes (10% of every penny I earn in fact – tithing is another subject!), I laugh heartily, I am especially loving to those in my life… Bcause I am concerned with my own financial welfare, does that make me bad in some way??
Or as Neil in ‘The Young Ones’ would say… Does that make me a ‘bread-head’?
Now come on, I don’t know if it is caused by some outmoded religious dogma, some poor education along the way, whether all those movies where the hero is dogged by a nasty millionaire baddy that is driving these ideas that somehow my suggestion today is unethical… It is thinking that kind of thing… Thinking that this kind of notion today is wrong that is at the foundation of a poverty consciousness and defending such a position is likely to keep you there.
Sorry to say it.
Think of how much more noble, honourable and how much more good you can do when you have more of a prosperity consciousness!
Heck, I could be waving goodbye to lots of potential clients and customers here, but that is how strongly I believe in it. I am not pandering to it or excusing it, people follow my work for things that work and make a difference – if you are looking to develop more prosperity, you may want to consider observing who influences your life, and if those close to you are in possession of a poverty consciousness, you may have to let go.
Totally agree with your comments Adam.
If someone believes that “I might not be rich, but at least I’m honest”, “Money is the root of all evil” (a misquote by the way – http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/238725.html), that people are “filthy rich”, etc., etc., then they’re never going to be better than comfortable themselves.
It’s very simple – if you believe being rich makes you a bad person, then no matter how much you say consciously that you want to be well off, your subconscious is going to win the battle and keep you where you are.
Once you understand the power of your thoughts, and that, in the words of Mike Dooley, “Thoughts Become Things”, you become very aware of what you listen to, and the effect it has on your own thinking.
This is making me think a bit.
I mean, most people are walking around with a pretty mixed bag of beliefs are they not? Even the ones that are playing about with their own mindset.
I have a friend who is quite well off, for example, so his prosperity consciousness should be healthy, but he has difficulty with other areas of well-being. You know?
So do I pop round to his place for a cup of tea when I’m feeling poor, but see another friend, perhaps, fit and healthy but of modest income, when I’m feeling poorly?
Seems a bit of a weird way to treat your mates!
I guess, if you want to be a certain way, it’s easier if the people around you are comfortable with you being that way. And if you are in the middle of a process of change, it’s probably best to be around folk who support that change, and then see which of your old mates can accept your new way of being, once you are a bit more settled in to your new ways.
Like if you are in the process of giving up smoking, it’s easier to avoid people that smoke. But once you are an established non-smoker, it becomes no longer an issue.
I hope it’s like that, anyway.
I wouldn’t want to think that someone wealthier than me spending time with me was by necessity getting poorer! Blimey, I’ll be avoiding my richer friends out of pure guilt if we take this all too categorically!
Adam,
I always enjoy your blog. This one is thought provoking even if I don’t fully agree with it. I love your general point about vacuum and I agree but you seem to be implying that you should ditch a relationship that isn’t fulfilling your current perceived need or with people who are more pessimistic than you. I think if you’re self aware – you need others around who are different to have a reality check every now and then. In my list of the five closest people, I have two millionaires but also some of my oldest relationships who are with people I greatly admire but for different reasons – e.g. overcoming adversity or their success in their families but they’re also prone to bouts of “doom and gloom”. They’re not going to leave my list of five but I agree – maybe I should work more on my list of twenty.
Ger.
Thank you all for your much valued contributions here.
It has been a topic of discussion that has stimulated many varied opinions and thought processes.
Jen, thanks for involving yourself here. Jeanie, always good to hear from you. I like your perspective. Gerald, absolutely fab to see you writing on my blog. Gordon, thanks for your continued insightful contribution.
Lots to think about, eh?