Today, I have written a perfect plan for anyone wanting to self-destruct. That’s right, I have highlighted elements of research, found the human weak spots and formulated a plan that anyone can follow to effectively engage in self-destruction. I am sharing that here. The way to create a veritable apocalypse in your life.

Apocalypse picture for self-destuctionI love watching nature programmes on TV. In particular, I love wildlife programmes. I thoroughly enjoy watching a study and commentary on the existence of particular breeds, groups or collections of wildlife. I love technology for bringing that footage directly to my home from the far reaches of the world in jungles, at the bottom of Oceans and desert landscapes. If you ever watch nature programmes on television, or if you ever take time to study animals, you see that for animals much of their life is dedicated to simply surviving. That is, they battle other animals, the elements, the climate, to survive, to find food, to raise their young and cope with existence. They have a will to survive, they struggle against all manner of challenges but are driven to survive, protect themselves and their children, and do all they can to avoid mistakes or anything that could lead to their own destruction.

Us humans seem to be quite different to that, don’t we? That is, we engage in a wide variety of behaviours that are destructive to ourselves and those around us. Us human beings mistreat our bodies, get stressed out, act to the detriment of each other, sometimes even killing ourselves. I think animals would think us all mad for the way we are sometimes. Ongoing research and much science gives us some insight into why such a highly evolved, highly intelligent species – us humans – can at times be so nasty, self-destructive and harmful.

There is a great deal of existential debate to be had about our reasons for existing, but surely one of the simplest reasons for existence is also one of the most valid – to exist. To just exist. Yet much of what humans engage in tends to be self-destructive and harmful to the very existence of that life. If more of us were to actively engage in more of the behaviours and habits highlighted here today, the species would surely struggle as many of those in the animal kingdom, and many might seem innocuous but prolonged, active engagement in it is harmful for sure.

If I were the baddy or master criminal from comic books or sci-fi films, I think I’d simply encourage more of these types of behaviours rather than trying to build a mega blaster ray gun to hold the world to ransom. Today then, I offer you the perfect recipe for self-destruction, if you’d like your very existence to implode, simply do the following:

1. Physically Neglect Yourself:

This is quite an easy and basic thing to do. Lots of people seem to have caught on to this one, I mean, just look at the obesity and diabetes hitting the Western World currently. The easiest way to start with truly neglecting your body is to look at how you eat because this results in many long-term health issues. Dedicate yourself to eating lots of sugary stuff, loads of processed foods and especially lots of processed carbohydrates. Wash it down with fizzy, sweet drinks and ideally drink plenty of alcoholic beverages each night. Oh, and make sure you eat far too much. That is, even when you are full, ignore your body’s groans; eat more. Especially yellow foods; chips, crisps, bread, pasta, gorge yourself on that stuff.

If that sounds too challenging, then under-eat instead. Deceive yourself into thinking you are benefiting by not eating enough. To hell with serious self-image problems or other psychological problems that could be addressed by credible professionals.

One of the things that poor eating, excessive sugar consumption and constant alcohol will do for you, is help to ensure you have very poor, non-restful sleep. Which is perfect for self-destruction. Ensure you get 4 hours or less and that’ll start to ensure you have cognitive impairment to match the physical problems you are encouraging, but it is a beautifully double-edged sword that will also ensure that your body descends into poorer health by refusing to get quality sleep; it won’t repair, heal and revitalise or give you energy or the inclination to go and do anything about it.

Also then, be sedentary. Opt for the least amount of physical activity possible. Drive everywhere, watch a LOT of TV, be seated for as much of the day as possible, take lifts instead of stairs, take short cuts where possible and drive anywhere further than the next street.

If you really wish to add the metaphorical icing on the cake with regards to the ongoing destruction of your body, then adopt some further bad habits too. Ideally smoking as that is still currently legal, but if you can get your hands on anything illegal, especially drugs bought online that have been made in foreign countries with no regulations or health and safety procedures, that is really going to speed up your self-destruction.

As with so many things included in this article, all of these things would not seem so bad were it not for the fact that humans are such creatures of habit. Research shows that if you establish your poor habits really well, use them in ways that ensure they provide some emotional meaning, a false crutch, or as a way of dealing with adversity, then you are going to ensure that habit is very tough to let fall by the wayside.

tablets for self-destructionCombining smoking with drinking alcohol is ideal for self-destructionists (a new term I created for this article – I would create a movement to unite self-destructionists with each other, but that might become useful and supportive and we don’t want that). Ideally, drink when you are feeling miserable and it’ll help ensure you wake up just as miserable, if not worse. It’ll ensure you descend downwards.

Cindy Jardine of the University of Alberta studied why people cling to bad habits, and cites a number of reasons. Therefore, to ensure you cling to the bad habits so that you can self-destruct, do the following:

— Be defiant in the face of advice.

— Assume that the bad habits offer you social acceptance.

— Refuse to truly understand the nature of the risk of that habit.

— Rationalise and justify these habits in any way you can. In particular by telling yourself and others about your Grandfather who smoked until he was 85.

This point alone should give you a solid foundation on the road to self-destruction. Let’s add to that now…..

2. Self-Destructive Body AND Mind:

So having damned our body to the fiery cess pits of hell, let’s get holistic and incorporate mind and body principles into our self-destruction. The next important component then, is to adopt as self-defeating a mindset as possible. In order to really bring on the depression and anxiety we need to self-destruct, we must truly believe that we are incapable of actually doing anything much in life with any degree of success or satisfaction. So start to be really unduly tough on yourself – ideally some unreasonable criticism on the hour every hour and reminding yourself of everything you ever failed at – and do use that word ‘failure’ as it’ll really hit the message home with impact.

Never learn from those failures, just dwell morbidly upon them. Then ruminate excessively upon them and filter reality in such a way that you discount anything and everything positive. Anything nice, enjoyable or happy must be negated, if you let that stuff in, you’ll only start feeling better and that will inhibit your self-destruction.

Make sure you believe in those thoughts, invest yourself in them, treat them like they are truth and then they’ll become incredibly harmful self-fulfilling prophecies and that makes self-destruction soon much easier. Repeat phrases like:

“I’m going to fail”
“I’m trapped”
“I’ll never be happy or fulfilled”

You get the general gist. Dig up all the most negative and depressing thoughts possible, ideally use quotes from people who are good at putting others down, and then repeat them over and over in your head and treat them as facts.

Another great way to adopt a self-destructive, truly negative mindset is to engage in forced incompetence. That is, tell yourself that you lack confidence, that you are incapable of doing certain things and then attach it to your identity. Convince yourself and the world around you that you are a particular type of person; “I’m just not a very happy person” or “I’m just not very good at this type of thing” or “I’ve never really been good at XYZ” – Assume that others have a natural flair, or a gift for the things you are no good at. Assume it is some genetic predisposition, and blame that on your inability. Then believe it and defend it. If possible, blame teachers, friends and family a bit for those things too, that will ensure you take no responsibility and leads us perfectly onto the next item on our list….

3. Choose Passivity and Inaction!

Number 1 and 2 seem like they require some effort. Sorry about that. However, the good news, it is actually quite easy to self-destruct with those under your belt. One thing you can start doing today that is really easy, is this – NOTHING. That’s right, do nothing. Nada. It is good news for self-destructive fans, but don’t get too happy about this, because that might make you feel better.

Be passive. Choose inaction. Make no effort whatsoever to perform well, or to overcome, or to engage in useful behaviours, or to seek assistance, or to learn more information, or to educate yourself about how to be well (ideally, stop reading this article altogether right now, and certainly do not read any further articles on my website) just switch off, tune out, opt out. Do not let yourself learn from experience and do things in the same fashion with everything you do, repeating the steps of failure and allow any set-back to weight heavily upon you. Again, excessive rumination and going over it in your head will ensure it fuels self-destruction effectively.

Recognise what is bad for you, and then do nothing about. Let it happen again, be passive to it. This will guarantee further failure and we really need more of that for self-destruction. (I nearly wrote ‘successful self-destruction’ then, but there is no place for that S word here – we want D words; destruct, destroy etc)

4. Adopt the ’Poor Me’ Attitude:

Be a victim.

Virginia Satir the family therapist wrote of this a great deal. You need to avoid her work if you want to effectively self-destruct. When you properly adopt a ‘poor me’ mindset, you engage in self-pity. This will make everything else mentioned here so far a lot easier to do.

Make sure you feel sorry for yourself. Feel bad for yourself. Highlight your shortcomings, emphasise your weaknesses, and insist that you were put on this planet to fail and be miserable. Do know that by doing this, you will remain miserable. Let these thoughts drag you down, let them weight on you. This is going to really help you stay passive and inactive, so it is a good one to master.

5. Be Horrible To Others:

To really self-destruct well, you need to ostracise yourself from others and treat your fellow humans poorly. There are a wide number of ways to do this, I have listed some of the more prominent ones here:

Be rude and abrasive: Take your misery out on others for no apparent reason. In fact, if you have no real reason, this is better.

Resist any urges to be kind to others as this will result in your day being brightened up. This also leads to you being kind to yourself and that will prevent a speedy self-destruction. If however, you persist with being mean to others, your words, intentions and thoughts will start to manifest in your own life too and ideally result in illness, isolation and general unpleasantness.

Lie: Engage in lying, miss-truths and deception. Humans lie a great deal according to studies, so it should be easy for you to engage in.

University of Massachusetts psychologist Robert Feldman states that lying is tied to low self-esteem, in particular he says “We find that as soon as people feel that their self-esteem is threatened, they immediately begin to lie at higher levels.”

Be A Gossip: Start to garner a culture of unfairly judging and talking about others, and be oblivious to how hurtful it might be to those others.

In one nature study I followed, Oxford primatologist Robin Dunbar demonstrated that Baboons groom each other to keep social ties strong. As humans are more evolved, things like gossip can become a learned behaviour that helps us connect with others, at the expense of some. Ensure you have no regard for truth or accuracy, and establish a faux gossip induced relationship with someone at the expense of another.

There are of course many other ways to be horrible to other people (being manipulative, aggressive and violent would also be ideal if you can be bothered), but this little lot should get you started. The great thing about this point, is that it leads to the next one so well….

6. Go For Social Isolation:

Avoid real-life human interaction as much as possible. Obviously this means less opportunity to gossip or lie, but it all balances itself out in the end.

Isolate yourself from friends, family and peers as much as possible. Ideally, lessen your connection with society in general. Think of ways you can alienate friends and family in particular (because they are the types of people who can make you feel loved, supported and from whom you benefit in many ways from the coal connection) some good ways of doing this are to insult them, instigate arguments and never resolve them, let issue go on too long and ignore their attempts at engaging with you via all media forms. If you can not attend social gatherings and in particular special occasions, this will help you become a far more effective self-destructionist.

Instil the overriding theme of social suicide and deliberately alienate yourself. Establish yourself as irritating, repelling and antisocial and if you can be bothered, do behaviours that promote this way of perceiving you.

You can also sabotage interpersonal and close relationships that you somehow managed to establish before you become a fully committed self-destructionist. The best way to go about that is to adopt a set of behaviours that include being jealous, possessive, manipulative and needy. If you’ve done the former steps effectively, you’ll not feel worthy of love and this stuff will be much easier to do.

7. Numb Emotions:

Plug your emotions and do not let them show. Do not share them and do not vent them in what therapists or psychological folk suggest are healthy ways. Put a cork in it and hold it all in, especially painful emotions, but happy ones too.

If you can can, numb emotions by continuing your ongoing use of alcohol and drugs. This helps to hide from emotions. Do put a fake happy face on to fool the world, to be really good at self-destruction, you need to do it alone. Do not let others know what you are up to. They will ruin self-destruction for you.

Keep looking for the negatives in life and you’ll find them, and then be as numb as possible in response. I like to refer to this as emotional unintelligence or emotional stupidity – it is an important ingredient in our recipe for self-destruction.

8. Refuse Assistance:

This is important. If anyone has somehow spotted what you are up to, they might attempt to intervene. You don’t want that. You need to repel them. Friends and family must be kept away.

Likewise, there is no room in the self-destructionist’s life for therapy. Just see that as having a ridiculous stigma attached to that, turn your nose up at it.

You must fail to acknowledge that you need help. Even the smallest discussion can alleviate our self-destructive efforts, so reject advice, embrace self-sabotage and tell yourself repeatedly that you simply do not care.

9. Get Stressed and Worried:

Stress is the ideal place for self-destruction. Stress can take years off our life, it can contribute to heart related illness and other forms of illness. It can also lead to depression and suicide and will be a lot more effective when you have got all the other elements in place on this list.

To really advance stress, bring your work pressures home with you and let them interfere with your personal world. In particular let them effect your family and the way you relate to them. Use social media excessively so that work and other world issues can stress you out in your free time and at all hours of the day and night.

Again and to re-emphasise an earlier point, make sure you deal with it by drinking, eating too much sugar and caffeine and not sleeping well. This will ensure it gets to proper self-destructive levels.

If you worry, you ensure that your brain spends it time on that worry and unable of being creative, happy and solution focused, and so worry to excess.

10. Sacrifice Yourself:

This is simple and short. Give up on your dreams. Abandon hope. Ignore any passions. Refuse to put yourself first.

There you go. Gather up your metaphorical cauldron, get it bubbling over a roaring fire and throw in all these ingredients. Then sit back and watch self-destruction occur.

Disclaimer: A lot of people may know that I was quite self-destructive as a younger man, that I chose an alternative direction thereafter, and may well be suspecting a degree of irony in this article. In order to self-destruct effectively, like a special message on the Mission Impossible films, you need to ignore irony, and you certainly would not want to reverse all these things in order to make yourself happy, fulfilled and satisfied with life.

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