This is a topic that I have written about often. I’ve written about embracing your individuality, being authentic, being a geek, being a weirdo and lots more besides. While making our way through this life, we encounter and meet a lot of types of people and society in general projects a lot of people into our awareness via various mediums. We are all influenced by society to some extent from time to time. Many people find that they pressure themselves to behave and act in a certain way. A way that fits in. There are numerous studies which show how lots of people are often inclined to do what others are doing. They attempt to fit in and blend with society. However, this often leads to the loss of one’s individuality and uniqueness. 

I see my own children growing up, wanting to express their individuality and also often wanting the relative safety of fitting in and suppressing aspects of who they really are.

Since you are still reading this, maybe you have also felt this urge to follow what your mates or work colleagues or peers tend to do. You might have felt the need to fit in to various aspects of life from time to time. On occasions there are certain to be times when fitting in may support you, and on other occasions it is undesirable, so here’s a bunch of ideas that you can keep in mind or understand which would allow you to stay true to yourself more of the time.

Understand yourself

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”- Bernard M. Baruch

Well, days continue to pass while you keep your eyes fixed upon the rat race. However, did you ever stop by the mirror, look yourself in the eye and ask yourself if you have found out who your true self is and what you actually want? Is fitting in lighting you up?

Let’s all face it now, we certainly know all human beings tend to have different personalities to suit the respective occasions. While there is this life which you are currently living, there is also another life that maybe you would like to live or which you dream about living. Do you understand what the possible problem here is? You may be afraid. You may be afraid to be yourself. It is pretty common. You may just be scared to admit who you are and what your true self wants; especially if it is not typical of those you fit in with usually.

Well, perhaps you need to realise that you are one of a kind. And there is absolutely no reason for you to hide inside any shell. It is time that you break open and live the life you have always wanted to live. This is a rather unnecessary fear that may be holding you back. This is a fear which you may need to rid yourself of because deep down you know what you want and what should not be suppressed any further.

Take charge 

You have one life to live, one life to fulfil any dreams and aspirations. Let us address the elephant in the room and understand that if we are not living our life on our terms, we may be wasting our time. You should have faith in yourself and realise that you need to take responsibility for your actions.

Maybe you need to buckle up and take charge of your life? Perhaps you need to start living your life the way you want? You should say what you want and do what you want (but also applying some common sense; there are exceptions of course and it does not harm others etc). And that is how you will be able to soak in more of the beautiful things that life has to offer to you.

You as an individual may need to better understand that you have your thought processes and that you function in your way. You do not need to be a slave to all the ways of the majority and try to fit in. You need to own up to yourself, take charge and feel better about living life on your own terms where possible.

Achieve For You

You may have to keep in mind that these are the things which you have known deep down. Look inside yourself and get a sense of what the truth is for you. These are the things that perhaps you have always believed in. It is just that now you can look right at it. You may need to start looking at yourself in a better way.

Get ready to act. You do not want to be just another talker who has found himself but is still not ready to achieve what he wants. You need to act according to your beliefs. You cannot let society completeoy dictate what you do.

Why do you need to take this hard path?

“But all this is not so easy” – this has often been the answer to multiple questions and numerous situations in our lives. But perhaps now is the time when you tell yourself and accept that life is not a piece of cake. Your surroundings and situations will not always be solely dependent on your actions. However, what is likely to depend on you is your happiness and mental peace.

You are likely to taste more of this happiness when you allow yourself to be yourself. You may have to start recognising your own needs. You may need to embrace your flaws. You may need to embrace the difficulties in your life. Once you start accepting, that is when you are more likely to start acting!

This is more likely to be the time when you accept who you are and you would not feel the pressure or the need to fit in any longer. The path might not be easy but it certainly will be liberating. Like many others, you might have worried about your actions a little too much. You might have tried to escape your flaws or even ignored them and followed the way of the world. But little did you know that you can carve your own path a bit more, move in your own way, decide upon some of your own rules. And you tread that path with so much joy.


This is a slow yet mellow process. You might need to pick yourself up day by day, bit by bit, and build up your true self that would be ready to show the world that one doesn’t need to fit in. One has the individuality that enriches and nourishes. You embrace who you truly are and finally connect with your self-compassion and authenticity. Lastly, understand that you don’t have to change yourself for anyone to accept you, you don’t need to fit in. You sometimes just need to be ‘YOU’ and the world around will fall just into place accordingly. 


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