This morning I have been writing up the final bits and pieces for my most recent monthly hypnotherapy diploma students… Ironic that it was the last weekend of tuition, we had graduation and they were sent off into the world on American Independence day.
As I wrote up my finishing notes in the back of their manuals, I found myself wanting to impress some thoughts on my own philosophy that I have found incredibly useful in the field of hypnotherapy and in life in general; things including being yourself, trusting yourself, laughing lots etc, etc.
It made me think, if only someone had told me that when I was starting out, I would not have needed to discover it for myself as I did… Though there was then a part of me that thought, well someone probably did tell you all that stuff, you just did not listen properly.
Maybe we have enough teachers in life and work and so do not listen to them all… Though surely the best teacher in life is the self… How much do we listen to ourself?
Whilst thinking of this and encouraging my students to trust themselves and listen to themselves,Â another blogger I follow pointed out this article over at NPR website that is entitled “what would you say to your 20 year old self?” – I thought I’d have a go… Rather than just offering up my dogma and advice to my students, I thought I’d offer the younger me some of that too…
The article stated: “Blogger Cassie Boorn, 22, of Davenport, Iowa, asked older fellow bloggers to write letters to themselves when they were in their 20s so she could learn from their advice. She says she learned not to take herself so seriously and to appreciate herself more.”
Upon reading it, I thought, there is so much my own younger self desperately needs to know. My advice felt urgent and I recalled what a prat I often was back then, and how much better I could have done things… At the same time, I turned out to be incredibly happy and know enough to be able to reflect in this manner, so I went easy at that point, took a few deep breaths and got stuck in… I did not want it to be an attempt at inducing morals, or attempting to be too intellectual or fluffy, the younger me would simply ignore all that… So here goes my advice for my younger self:
Celebrate, cherish and linger over every single second you have with your family. Some are going to die and you may feel cheated out of experiencing those people that you are currently taking for granted will be around for the rest of your life.
All the time you spend abroad, consider understanding the place you are in, the history of it and knowing the people… Seeing every new place in a drunken haze while chasing the girls is not going to fulfil your memories in later life.
Ignore anyone telling you that TV is bad for you, embrace all the stuff you love guilt-free.
Your parents and teachers are real-life human beings. Accept that.
Hang out more with your current mates. Those friendships are going to be life long.
Believe me when I tell you that you are currently anxious about the wrong things.
Be comfortable seeking help, the people close to you are far more open to it than you realise. In fact, they want to help you and are far more capable than you could ever know.
Button your mouth sometimes and think about what you are going to say.
I promise you that one day you find the person that you will spend the rest of your life with.
It is ok to swear as much as you like as long as the intention underlying it is not cruel.
Grief is crappy. It is not a linear, structured process. It doesn’t actually feel like a process at all, more like a gigantic black hole that swallows you in and then you claw your way out for a bit of air before getting sucked back in again. You deal with it well and respect life more as a result.
Go to those places you feel drawn to. There are far less choices here in this place. Your choices are going to increase if you find the space to express yourself.
You will love teaching more than you think right now.
Start running earlier. You love running nearly as much as you currently love football. The joy in running is not about body size or weight, it is about the mindset, it is also about loving your surroundings, and it’s about balancing body chemistry so you’re not such a wound-up nut job at times.
Continue to laugh endlessly at the stuff you find funny. Even if others don’t.
Get into computers more. Start to understand them better. You’ll be so pleased you did.
Ignore every mental health professional who suggests you might want to consider medication.
Listen to your instincts and act on them. I mean really trust yourself, you know the answers better than you think.
You have no idea how much you are going to love your work… And believe me, it is nothing that you are expecting right now.
Say yes more. Write more. Read more.Really, read much more.
Keep loving Nottingham Forest, however low they may sink, your relationship with your football team is something to be proud of.
Never allow yourself to be silenced.
Forgive yourself and others more readily.
There is a load of stuff I have to tell myself in private… Dates not to go on, invitations to refuse and people not to do business with… Like I said, that is private… I suppose we could advise not to make certain mistakes, but that is the stuff that is important to learn from and become better as a result of, so I’m leaving that stuff in.
Of course, I now intend to use self-hypnosis to go and load that stuff in, create that younger self in my mind and tell him all this stuff… Great way to amplify it all is self-hypnosis… I think that concludes my advise for younger me… What would you tell your younger self?
“Believe me when I tell you that you are currently anxious about the wrong things” – that’s probably good advice for anyone at any time, Adam.
I think the main thing I’d tell my younger self is that it comes out OK in the end. (Not that now is, hopefully, the end.) Most of the mistakes I made had to be made to get me where I am, though some things I could definitely have done sooner.
Agreed Mike, good to hear from you 🙂
Just catching up on blogs a reading stuff I’ve meant to get around to for ages. I love this concept and can also see how it would be useful as an exercise in the therapeutic setting.
It rather reminded me of a song that was in the charts in the 90’s I think. Baz Lurhman who we all perhaps know better as a movie director (Moulin Rouge for example) and music producer, came up with “The Sunscreen Song”.
Perhaps you should put your bits of advice above to music as he did? He made a killing after all 😉
Thanks John, always good to hear from you 🙂