It is usually fairly simple to be proud of someone. For example, when your loved ones succeed, or your friend gets a desired promotion. Maybe it’s your sibling who got a promotion at work. Maybe someone you know well just published their first book. Yes, many of us find it easier to be proud of someone, so much so that at times you are bursting with happiness.
Yet have you ever wondered how proud you are of your own accomplishments? You may be too shy or humble to blow your own horn and may even not be that keen on getting extra attention. Maybe it makes you look a little too egoistic? Maybe you worry that it is narcissistic to talk about all that you have achieved? But it is important to realise that you have every right to be proud of your accomplishments, your successes, and all those moments where you have grown and taken a step forward.
It is completely up to you as to what to feel proud of. It does not necessarily have to be something tremendous or huge. It can be anything at all, anything special to you. Anything that makes you feel like you have learned from and grown as a person can count as an achievement. In its true essence, it could be the tiniest, smallest, and most seemingly insignificant thing, but if it’s something that makes you feel good and makes you love yourself a little more, it is worth being proud of. It could be you learning the first ten numbers in French, or you learning how to cook something new.
Literally, anything that you want to feel proud of goes. So how exactly do you feel proud of things? Are you afraid you’ll sound a little too narcissistic? Throw caution to the wind. We can describe different ways in which you can feel proud of yourself and your little achievements. Therefore, let’s get you started…
1. You are in a competition with no one.
Assume, for instance, that you baked a cake, perhaps for the very first time or maybe after a very long break. People loved it and praised it to a great extent. But maybe deep down, you know, and perhaps others know as well, that it was not the best-baked cake in the world.
But again, there really is no need for you to act like you baked the best cake in the world. Remember, for pretty much every work that has been done, someone out there has done it better than the other.
And yes, you are in a competition with no one at all. The only person you have to keep in perspective is yourself.
If you set a goal for yourself, and you succeed in achieving it. Then yes, you deserve to be proud of yourself. Say thank you to yourself and move forward.
It is also important to keep in mind that people who view their achievements and accomplishments from a positive perspective tend to accomplish more of their goals more often.
2. Share Your Achievements, But Don’t Force Them on to Anyone.
Undoubtedly, being humble can be a great virtue. But there are times when you want to sit down and pat yourself on the back for all that you have done and achieved so far. People are often told not to refer to their own work explicitly, but if truth be told, there are times when you want to cradle your work as a baby. Love your work, your achievements, and your growth regardless of the skills you have employed.
Remember, everyone adds a personal touch to their work, something only you can do. Appreciating and admiring that can give you a real sense of satisfaction. Who knows, it may even inspire you?
Think of how you have done your stuff way better than many people out there. But don’t be too boastful about it. It is always better to make your things known in a very straightforward but also relatively enthusiastic way that you have done THE THING.
Those who tend to be interested and happy for you will more likely want to delve deeper into the subject. Adding to and sharing your pride and enthusiasm by interrogating or supporting you, and who knows, they may even plan on holding a secret congrats party for you.
3. Try Not to Be Too Caught Up In Your Enthusiasm.
The more people congratulate you, the more you automatically want to be congratulated. Remember, there is a difference between pride and being caught up with your enthusiasm. Pride is when you say ‘thank you’ to someone who acknowledges your achievements and when there is a wide-toothed smile pasted onto your face.
Being caught up with your enthusiasm is when after being congratulated and appreciated accordingly, all your sentences usually start with an ‘I,’ or you add yourself into a conversation in a way that people have no other option but to praise you and mention how capable or kind you are.
Now, this is not pride, and this is equivalent to being an attention seeker.
An effective technique here would be to let people come to you and to share your interests with them such that they realise that you are proud of yourself and of what you have achieved, not what they have to say about you and how they make you feel.
4. Learn to be Proud of Others as well!!
This is undoubtedly a very important point. It is essential that you learn to step away from the attention you are receiving and shed some light on what others are achieving or have accomplished. The ability to step away from yourself and focus on yourself helps lend some perspective.
And also, most importantly, by observing the people’s reaction to the pride you have in them, you will be able to improve and moderate your pride for yourself.
5. Do not Milk Your Achievements.
Now assume that you secured the second position at the state level in a maths contest in junior school, aged 8. It is undoubtedly a great achievement and something worth remembering and being proud of. But let’s move forward to 20 years. You still may be – and should be – proud of what you have achieved. But are you still going on about it a bit too much in public?
Now that is where you might be at fault.
You can definitely be proud of an achievement, but at some point, you need to learn to let it go. While all that you have achieved should matter to you, it does not always have to be presented to others like a golden star you paraded around when at school.
Be proud of it, but keep it to yourself. It is not necessary that you constantly remind others of all that you have achieved.
- Learn to Interpret the Situation.
This has to be perhaps one of the most important life skills you need to learn as you progress through life. Learn to interpret the situation you are in and then modify your reactions and actions. For instance, suppose that a friend comes to you for your help and advice. Now you won’t really be helping them out if all you can focus on while advising them is how you won the academic prize at your college or how you were able to win that football match.
No matter how proud and satisfied you are with yourself, remember to keep most of it to yourself. And mostly maintain a calm, composed stance on the outside. Read what the situation and the subject involved demands and then effectively mold your action and your inner pride accordingly. Remember to do and say wisely.
No matter how enthusiastic you are and how many somersaults you have done inwardly, it really is not going to hurt one bit if you learn to delay your expression accordingly or even lower the forcefulness by a few watts.
7. Do not be afraid to give it a humourous touch.
Now there are two paths for you to choose from here. When I suggest being humorous, indirectly, in one way or the other, it sort of requires you to be a little self-deprecating as well. However, self-deprecation does not always have to be bad.
There is one sort of self-deprecation that makes you hide and run from your true feelings. But then there is another form of self-deprecation, which demands that you be a little witty with your contribution towards your life and to your growth. Not too much.
Just a little mild self-deprecation can serve as an effective indicator that you are proud of all that you have achieved in one way or the other.
And do not worry; it is not like you are feigning humility or anything.
When people see you adding a little bit of a humourous touch to your achievement and pride, they tend to open up and maybe even relax a bit into your idea of pride. This definitely means that they do not see you as egoistic or as a narcissist. No, it definitely means that you are in their good books.
8. Be Transparent About Your Emotions.
Some people view pride as essential, i.e., and they believe that without pride of any sort, they will be anonymous and therefore unknown.
You may be surprised to learn this, but pride in your geographical location, or pride in your favorite cricket team, are all fallacies. Superficial forms of pride that have little to no underground surface.
These, in essence, fail to contribute to your real well-being. They are not genuine experiences because they tend to be focused externally.
It is important to note that genuine pride requires you to be more honest and transparent with who you are and where it is that you are contributing to this world. Genuine pride is something that tends to pass down positivity forward. It can be anything from helping your sibling with their homework to some sort of community service.
And yes, the part about positivity is important as well. Pride should not be a consequence of you doing hurtful or demeaning acts. No. Pride should be about you spreading positivity so that you attract good things. It should have nothing to do with you trying to gain acceptance among a small portion or even a group of people.
Remember that being proud of yourself is your right. There are times when you need to let out and share that enthusiasm and excitement a little. And yes, there are times when you really want to pat yourself on the back for all that you have achieved. Being proud in yourself can really help motivate you to continue. And who knows, this may even help you find your passion for something and thus keep you content with life both internally and externally. If you don’t slow down once in a while, and appreciate all that you have achieved, you will keep on wanting more and more. And if this cycle continues for long, you won’t really be able to find happiness and true contentment with what you have managed to accomplish in the short time you have for yourself.
Thus, try out the tips mentioned above, and do let me know if any one of them work out for you.
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