Keeping on with the Christmas theme this week (albeit fairly tenuously today!), despite a lot of moaning about the UK weather and our dire need to shout at people regarding it… BAA and the fact that they should have seen it coming, prepared better etc, the Government for not buying up the entire planet’s grit supplies, local councils for not clearing roads quick enough and Father Christmas for not lending us Rudolph for a few days to enhance the general spirit of the world… Despite this, most of the people I come into contact with professionally and personally that are unhappy about something other than snow and general cold weather during economic hard times, tend to be unhappy for one of more of these two reasons:
Firstly, wanting what they don’t have.
Secondly, not wanting what they already have.
Christmas really does tend to amplify this too, doesn’t it?
I tend to think it is healthy to have ambition and strive towards desired outcomes. It is when we want things to such an extent that they become unhealthy for our psychological balance and well-being that I am referring to here.
If you want something, or do not want something you already have so much that it is making you despair, then this is a problem, right?
My Buddhist friends suggest that this is to do with us needing to lessen our attachment to what we want and don’t want, and I hear that. We do spend much of our younger lives wanting to acquire and accrue as many possessions, wealth, position of standing, experience and many other things as fast as we can grasp at. Yet when you see our more senior citizens taking in the latter years of their lives, watching it all going on out there, they appear content to be living and appreciating life happening.
So maybe this year, whilst writing up our lists to Santa… We can also listen in to and monitor some of our real wants and want-nots and see that we have more choice than we realise when it comes to how we allow ourselves to respond to this stuff.
To help with that, how about a little bit of help with a neat little technique, often referred to as ‘cutting the ties that bind.’
If you take a note of some things that are probably out of balance as far as your wanting too much is concerned, follow these simple steps to begin the process of letting go of them and putting them into some perspective:
Step One: Get relaxed and at ease. Breathe easily and deeply, pushing your stomach out as you breathe in. Tune in to the moment and engage with it. As I seem to say each week – get my self-hypnosis book, or use whatever form of induction, meditation technique or relaxation method you know and generate a nice receptive state. Enjoy it and imagine being in your favourite place in nature; whatever or wherever that might be.
Tune in to nature in this place. Create a natural, nurturing environment that is going to be really responsive to the process of letting go of wants that have gone out of control. See the sights, hear the sounds, feel the feelings of being in your favourite place or a wondrous place in your mind. Once you feel nice and settled you can begin to contemplate.
Step Two: In this wonderful place, think about what you want more of in your life. Think about why you want more of that, think about how much of a problem it is to be wanting that so much (this could include wanting something out of your life that is in it).
Think and contemplate what ‘wants’ you can free yourself of and let go of to create more harmony in your life.
Step Three: In this place in nature, imagine that you are standing. Imagine feeling the ground beneath your feet, smelling the fragrances and the breathing the air. See the sights and hear the sounds of nature.
Then, imagine yourself surrounded by all the things that you need to let go of. They can be actual; things or symbolic representations of those things all surrounding you in a circle. Or if it is just a single thing, it can be opposite you.
Imagine that there is a cord that ties you to each thing. See the cord and feel it, maybe imagine it made of gold, silver or something natural and appealing to you.
Step Four: Now comes the fun. Cut the ties that were binding you to those things and choose to let go of them. You can have a pair of scissors or a knife, or you can zap them with your imagination or do whatever else pleases you. Just cut those ties and watch that thing getting smaller and smaller until it is gone.
Notice what it feels like to have let go of that. Be open to good coming your way from here onwards and be thankful and comfortable that you did that.
Step Five: Think and about and consider how good it is to have released that from your life and think about how you will know that you truly have released it. Think about what you can do this very day to show yourself that you have let go.
Step Six: Relax, open your eyes. Now go and take some action to confirm that you have let go and released this thing. Maybe you openly forgive someone, behave differently, do a particular action that shows that you have let go of that thing for good.
Ok, have a great day…