In a couple of hours, I am flying to Dublin, then driving down to Galway and am going to love spending some time with my wife on a rare opportunity to get away from it all…
I leave my huge business empire in the hands of a few select individuals… My business partner Keith will look after my baby… My website and online business… i have people taking my calls, others being technical and hosts of other professional working for me without directly being employed to do so…
I think for those of us that are self-employed, it is a wrench to do so. To leave your business in the hands of someone else for a few days. Even someone like me who takes the laptop with them and checks in from time to time!
There is a metaphor in this process, isn’t there? Something of value to us all in many aspects of life and development. Let me explain what I mean…
Many believe that perceiving ourselves as alone, fighting a battle single-handedly or not asking for help as a common cause of failure, as in this tale by David J. Wolpe:
A boy and his father were walking along a road when they came across a large stone. The boy said to his father, “Do you think if I use all my strength, I can move this rock?” His father answered, “If you use all your strength, I am sure you can do it.” The boy began to push the rock. Exerting himself as much as he could, he pushed and pushed. The rock did not move. Discouraged, he said to his father, “You were wrong. I can’t do it.” His father placed his arm around the boy’s shoulder and said, “No, son. You didn’t use all your strength-you didn’t ask me to help.”
I really rather like that.
No, no, no I am not going to say any of those crappy management lines like “there’s no ‘I’ in team” because that is not really me, is it?
People who tend to take over everything are more tiring than tired… I encounter many of them in various aspects of my work and life… Independent of their competence, they feel uncomfortable in delegating and micromanage every detail of everything… Some less kind individuals may title these folk ‘control freks’.
They think that if they don’t, either it will not be done or it will be done incorrectly. They have no confidence in others, regardless of their competency… I think if you have much invested (time, money, belief, experience) in your own ways, then it may be tough to accept someone else doing them…
The one who is trying to do everything herself not only forfeits others’ potential but also often struggles to really succeed from what I have seen in this lifetime…
I’m going to get biblical again today… Not sure what’s gotten into me these last couple of days, but anyhow… Even Moses couldn’t escape the despair and irritation of having excessive responsibility: when the people of Israel began complaining out loud about having only manna (a kind of coriander seed) to eat, and accusing Moses of taking them out of Egypt, where they ate all the free fish, cucumbers, watermelons, leeks, onions, and garlic they wished, Moses went to the Lord and said: “Why have you brought me this trouble?… Am I their mother?…Where can I get meat for all these people?…I can’t take care of all these people by myself. This is too much work for me.”
I love that expression and have said it a few times myself… “What am I? Your mother?” Hahaha… Nice one Moses.
Sharing out the power and responsibility to a team of some sort preserves your energy and well-being, and it also cultivates the competence of others, ultimately benefiting everyone… I love that idea.
Now here’s a challenging thought for some… The one who has real power (personality, intelligence, judgment) will welcome all the help she needs even though doing so may seem to dilute her authority and significance. That is real power, I think.
We can’t always be centre of the universe! I tend to believe that ultimate authority and significance come not by holding on to the centre of power and having others feel totally dispensable but by making oneself relatively dispensable.
Not only is this key in business… I think it is key in life… I think it is especially key in therapy… Hypnotherapy is made so much better when the individual is shown how to make the changes themselves… When you highlight the changes being made are being made entirely by themselves, boy is that some empowering experience! Happy days…
Some things cannot always fall into this category, moreover they could be perceived as laziness… I better go and help my wife pack my suitcase before we head out… 🙂
