I have done all I can to avoid it until now… Every shop is playing jingle bells… News items are talking about the impact on the financial climate upon our festivities… TV advertisements have got snow flakes in abundance… At facebook everyone seems to be inviting me to place gifts under their trees and decorate my profile…

I love Christmas… But do I need to spend 2 months preparing or it? And what about the seemingly hypnotically induced stress that the festive season seems to inject into many individuals… Yes indeed, for many this is the most stressful time of the year… Jingle Bells sends shivers of worry into some people…

It seems ironic doesn’t it? That our Christmas holidays are a time inherently defined as times meant for joy and release from work demands… Or as Cliff Richard puts it “a time to rejoice in the good that we bring.” (And a time for loving, a time for living, a time for sharing and a time for giving… A bit disappointed with myself for knowing so many of the lyrics of that song!)

The images of close-knit families throwing coloured wrapping paper in the air, sat around the roaring fireplace, beside the tree, giggling at Granddad snoozing on the sofa… According to many though, Christmas is generally when the worst of nightmares often become reality… Let me explain this further…

Many people actually associate this time of year with a variety of issues that give knots in the stomach and migraines applenty.

Why is this?

Well, maybe first of all there is that strange justification of the money spent on others and festivities in relation to personal budget… Hmmm… Especially with the financial climate as it is right now… People are rationalising about the expense of Christmas…

Many people consider the gift value from the year before… It is as if we attempt to make our psychological accounting books consistent. “What did she give me last year?” Heck, if you saw how big my family and my wife’s family are…How many children there are and how many close friends we need to buy for… It is a wonder we do not fall into this mode of thought ourselves!

Then though, there is that psychological factor of expectation… I talk about the hypnotic effect of expectation all the time…

As the days approach, some people start their anticipatory anxiety… Will we look fat, old, poor, etc. as we know that we look forward to positive receptions, but that degree of judgment from others can be hurtful, especially from someone you need acceptance from….Family, eh? Comparisons happen naturally from siblings because that a natural competitive feature of long term relationships, and that often extends to mates and children.

And what about straight-forward awkwardness?

After the first moments of catch-up and remembrances of times past, topics of mutual interests often dissipate… If you are not into the football games or health challenges, and if you re no good at trivial pursuit (I always win trivial pursuit) you often find yourself feeling awkward. One of the worst things you can do is to fill in the time with munching over the dinners left-overs or huge tubs of chocolates lying around… Stuffing yourself with things you regret later. Many subsequently drink too much and make a fool of themselves…  

Which leads to another factor… Less psychological perhaps… The matter of food toxicity…

As most nutritionists would agree, one of the worst foods you can consume is processed sugar… The heavy dosages of this substance can start your pancreas on a roller coaster ride resulting in extreme periods of energy, most of it in the downward spiral… Because of the demands for insulin to keep your blood sugar in balance, huge amounts are called for immediately and the manufacture to run at high and low speeds all day long… There is the impending fluctuation between needing a nap, having one… And then bounding around…

Really today though, I wanted to mention psychological factors that lead people to considering Christmas to be a stressful period of time in their lives…

Consider the impact of people’s memories and associations.

Christmas holiday is a significant anniversary of events for all of us… As a boy I remember my Dad always saying grace before Christmas dinner and we took time out to think of those that were no longer with us…  For some, Christmas reminds them of people and times they enjoyed as well as regret. There are individuals we miss and missed opportunities that we wish would return. And then there are also times we want to forget but the stage is set that the cues are so powerful we can’t. And if we are successful in burying some feelings, someone is always around to remind you.

Then what about personal boundaries? Some families become like lab rats… Both in physical proximity and importantly, in psychological proximity…

When people get together for the festive season, there is usually the question to review how much power you give someone over what you think and what you do… Politeness prevails for long periods of ime… But when comfort sets in, there are topics of conversation that possess the explosive power for anyone to feel invited to judge your life or judge your opinion…

Finally though, there are old relationship definitions… What do I mean by that? Let me explain…
 
I have many friends and peers who have led exemplary lives, done much, learnt a great deal and taught much wisdom… Yet I have witnessed these friends and peers act like six-year-olds when they walk into a room with their parents! It is hilarious!

It is an amazing phenomenon to behold. I have a close friend in her late 30s who smokes… Except when she goes to spend Christmas with her family, because her parents do not know she smokes! Another friend I know, self-conscious about his weight, eats his second helping of food to please his Mum although he is risking piling on more weight by consuming the roast potatoes and thick gravy.

The relationships they have practiced since childhood have been laid out for life it seems… Stress can be elevated to crisis if confronted in reality of the age development…

So rather than simply shouting “Baaah Humbug!” to anyone not revelling or rejoicing in the build up to Christmas this year… Maybe empathise with one or two of the many potential stressors they may have…

Bournemouth town centre here welcomes the German Festive market again next week… Mulled wine, bratwurst and late night Christmas shopping applenty for me very soon, I can’t wait…