So of all the things to do when you are the most famous sportsperson in the world, the famous golf pro maestro himself – Tiger Woods – went and drove into a hydrant and a tree near his house… Whoops-a-daisy!

Ever since then we have seen a a whirlwind of collosal proportions of speculation about what the actual circumstances were in relation to his accident and even more information about his private life… Now it is virtually impossible to get copyright-free pictures of Tiger Woods to use on my blog, so instead, here is a picture of a tiger in the woods…

Tiger In the Woods
I guess this kind of situation is what happens when your PR people have spent years and years painting a picture of you being whiter than white? Walking past the newsagents this morning, every single newspaper it seems has pictures of him and his alleged mistresses on the front cover…

There are three mistresses apparently, all taking different stances… One woman denies the affair, the other is apparently boasting about it – she is offering up voice mail and text messages as proof of her wrongdoings and the third neither confirming nor denying, instead choosing to quietly sit on the fence, maybe waiting to see how things pan out…. It is being insinuated that these women were somehow related to the car and hydrant collision… The plot thickens – thus making it a much more hypnotically intriguing and alluring story…

Elin, otherwise known as Mrs. Tiger Woods, is thought to have been chasing Tiger with a golf club (oh the irony!) (I attempted to make an iron-club joke there too, but it is too early in the morning for my brain to come up with one in time) and in her fury she has bashed in the rear window of their family vehicle… Although it is not likely to be the same kind of family vehicle they give away on the Price is Right, is it? All in all, not a happy domestic scene… Certainly not what we see on the telly when Tiger is playing at golf tournaments.

What we have here is an absorbing tale… Hypnosis inducing in many respects… The mythical fall from grace – Tiger Woods, blessed with unbelievable athletic prowess, abundant intelligence and good looks married to an Eve-like woman with Nordic beauty and grace. These two human beings, blessed with unbelievable bounty and physical beauty – almost god-like, live in the Garden of Eden – albeit a well-to-do, gated community in South Florida.

Three voluptuous women then helped to ruin this paradise by apparently luring him away to the dark side, away from the path that is right and just. They are the forbidden fruit for which he forsakes his family and pristine image. The jealous wife, Elin a co-god in this Paradise, banishes him from the garden in a fit of fury… By wielding a golf club crazily around…

Now this morning we have a statement from Tiger as reported all over the mass media admitting to “personal failings” and requesting, (or rather self-righteously demanding) he have some privacy. His request for privacy, although understandable, may not be just about his family… In a rare excursion on one of my blog entries, I am going to quote Freud, god forbid…

Tiger Woods was a golden boy if there ever was such a thing. He was a prodigy who appeared on TV at a very young age. He was verging on being a Herculean youth with abilities that reached the heavens and his abilities only increased as he matured into a world-beating vision of perfection of a man. A buttoned-up, seemingly restrained man like Tiger may have been trying to cut loose and let off steam somewhere and somehow… Now though, filled with shame, he wants to reign it all back in – an attempt to restore the golden womb-like paradise that he believed in, but probably never was… This is where I mention  Fraud Freud…

Freud famously compared the womb to the mythical and idyllic paradise in Genesis, aaahhh…. We spend 9 months in a warm, protected amniotic sac, shielded from woe and worry, not even having to labour in the slightest – not even to eat or breathe. And of course, we are, all of us, thrown out, against our will… I was long actually long overdue when born and got to spend much extra time in this place and felt it was incredibly rude to be thrown out against my will, by all accounts, I screamed a great deal in protest…

Anyhow, it is this that Freud theorised, that many people spend a lifetime looking for romantic love, or have affairs. These efforts, Freud felt are merely attempts to re-enter the womb – to get back to the wonderful place where they once were. But of course, the sad fact is that we were thrown out and we will never be able to get back…

It is this resistance to reality, Freud wrote, that is the downfall of man… Hmmm…. (scratches chin, utterly unconvinced and attempting to remain impartial) The problem is we need magic – all of us do. The magic of beauty, grace, near-invincible athletic power combined with an exciting life such as Tiger has – we all must have some of that even if it is illusory and/or hypnosis inducing. At moments like these, with the pain of deeply wounded feelings stark and clear, a marriage on the rocks, we will be tempted to conclude that despite our strong wish for something more, reality may be our very best friend.

To be honest I can’t stand Freud or Fruedian therapy… This belief that all men’s issues come from fancying their Mums and all women have penis-envy… And each of his clients would sit – often for thousands of hours – in therapy dredging up every ounce of crap that happened in their life… I got that off my chest, didn’t I?

I put the Tiger Woods thing down to such intense contrast – the contrast of what we initially thought and believed, then had those thoughts and beliefs heavily and hypnotically interupted as a new suggestion is offered up and portrayed in the media… We are drawn in to the tale and want to see what happens and how people respond… Each day is like a soap-opera cliffhanger drawing us in.

Some reckon he must live up to his reputation as world statesmen of sporting prowess and embody ideals that match such… Some believe he is fair game as a result of his alleged infidelity… Some believe his priovate business is nothing to do with his golf and as such should be left alone… Like that is going to happen, eh?

I do not stand on either side of the argument… I am just interested in how it is we all become so interested and wonder how it all is going to affect Tiger Woods and his own psychological well-being…