Whether you like it or not… Regardless of the nonsense that is poured over the internet by those without any depth of knowledge about the subject… Hypnosis needs your permission to be effective… Mind control fantasists and people selling wanton wishes are selling incorrect notions about the nature of hypnosis… Which lends itself nicely to the nature of anyone making us feel or do anything… Let me explain…

Have you ever had one of those conversations, or heard someone else say, “He made me feel terrible” or “she ruined my day”?

I am sure you replied yes or at least you know of the sort of thing i am talking about… When this happens, you are suffering needlessly from letting others dictate how you think, feel, and behave. lots of people think that hypnosis can make you think, behave and feel things without you needing to know anything about it… Hypnosis related or not, it makes no difference…

The key is to take control of your own mind, your own life and the best way to do that is to put yourself in charge of thinking about your thinking.

My experience has led me to think that a good starting place is to think or say to yourself “What specifically is going through my mind right at this moment?” The catch is to pay attention to when your mood starts to take a downward turn in the direction of sadness, anxiety, fear, frustration, or irritability. If you tend to be the type of person who is more aware of your body responses, then you can also try paying attention to your thoughts rather than directly to your body and what it is doing.

This is based on one of the main cognitive therapy principles, which is: your interpretation of situations directly impacts how you feel, your body responses, and the action you take. I know you are reading that and thinking “I know this already, tell me something new…”

Yet I am certain that you answered yes to the question earlier, didn’t you? (I can be a smart arse just as well as you can!)

So then you take that simple notion and apply it to your own life… Imagine you are hanging out with a bunch of people with your partner/spouse/good chum…. (as pictured below)


You nip to the toilet and then when you get back, your other half/friend/partner for the night seems engrossed in a conversation with people you don’t know… You stand there quietly and wait to be introduced. It does not happen. At that moment you start to notice your heart beating a little faster, the muscles in your back starting to tighten, and sadness is setting in as you slowly sip your drink and scan the room for an exit strategy… Lots of thoughts are going through your mind like: “How rude”, “I don’t matter”, and “I’m not important.” Your button’s been pushed and the theme in all these thoughts is tied directly to your doubt about yourself in some way…

Stop that going on, I say!

Don’t allow any buttons of yours to be pushed without checking it all out. You have options and multiple strategies for doing this. The first thing you can do is examine your thoughts by asking yourself what facts, not feelings or interpretations, you have to support or throw out those thoughts. What evidence do you have for those feelings being legitimate? Remember… Life has no place for assumptions (and as clichéd as it is, assumptions do make an ass out of u and me – ugh, did I just say that?!).

Second, ask yourself what some other possibilities might be aside from those thoughts. For example, your significant other always has a hard time remembering names or didn’t know their names or was waiting for a good time to introduce you to the group without interrupting anyone.

Third, think about what you would tell a friend if he/she was going through this exact situation in order to help you gain some objectivity.

Fourth, recognise that you can take action and feel free to introduce yourself or join in on the conversation.

Fifth, make a pledge to yourself that you are in charge of your thoughts, moods, body responses, and actions rather than letting others regulate them. Last, stamp out self-doubt by knowing your triggers, in this case a social situation, and not letting the inaccurate doubt cripple you from recognising all the wonderful qualities you bring to each situation.

Whether or not hypnosis is being used, no-one can make you feel, think or do anything without your permission, refuse to let them.