Whilst working with some serving soldiers recently, I was reminded of how close male friends often bond and share fun… By teasing and ‘taking the mickey’ out of each other… many believe you can only really do so with those you are closest to and I wanted to write about that today, especially in regard to something I saw at the Oscars ceremony…
Being based in the UK, of course, my opportunity to watch the Oscars was limited… But I have seen clips… The clips I wanted to see were not of speeches or awards though… I wanted to watch Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin.
From the clips I have watched, they were hilarious, at least, they made me laugh… They had that sense of humour of two good pals ripping on each other… Having spent most of my life in football teams, as well as with my closest school, college and university male friends, always having groups of us whereby we often teased each other in the pub and sometimes pushed the limits with each other, this kind of humour resonates with me…. There was good natured teasing from the opening in the Oscars…
Baldwin: “Welcome to Steve Martin – movie star, musician, author, comedian, playwright.”
Martin: “Welcome to Alec Baldwin.”
I just cracked up… They talked and played on the subject of the good looks of George Clooney who they both longed to be like; then they also joked about sharing a bed and rolling around in their sleep on top of each other; then there were more put-downs, I found them really very funny indeed.
I have always found it easier to tease and rip on the people closest to me, or people I am comfortable with… Male friends do tend to make fun of each other, tease each other, and compete with each other about appearance… My ginger hair was the focal point of much fun within my circles of friends… But so was another friends nose, the bags under another friends eyes (his nickname was/is Panda, hahaha) and much more besides… Some outsiders of a close group may see it as cruel, but for those engaged in it, they know that no real malice is underlying it… In fact, the intention of the meaning is always felt underneath it… I am not referring to cruel teasing or picking on people which surmounts to bullying, but a kind of teasing that forms a part of many male friendships…
Martin and Baldwin fulfilled the basic definitions of friendship – loyalty, dependability, trust, and understanding of the other… Plus, they had each other’s back… They were not necessarily understanding of each other but that is why they were so funny. Martin and Baldwin were together in their jealousy of Clooney…. A real moment of funny male bonding.
For me, and importantly so… They provided more than humour. They also provided permission for other men to poke fun at themselves and at their jealousy for one of the most attractive men on the planet (Clooney).
This was not poking fun at others and rarely at themselves as so very many comedians and award show hosts do. This was self-deprecating humor as well as teasing of a pal. What can be learned from this is that men, do not always have to be tough, serious, and macho. And they can be attractive while pursuing a wider range of behaviours.
There is much research that shows men often tease each other as a way of showing affection and being close to another man. Showing affection without teasing can be difficult for some men so good natured teasing becomes a sign of affection. I can remember being top goalscorer for my college football team and my best friend asking during one game if I was “ever going to put the ball nearer the goal than the corner flag!?” as he laughed off me missing a couple of shots that day.
There are of course times when teasing can go below the belt, perhaps when it is angry behaviour, but on Oscar night’s case, it was all for laughs…. That kind of humour resonated well with me, and had a real hypnotic effect as I recalled so much that I love about that sense of male, bonding, self-deprecating humour…
