How to be indispensable? As a title to a blog article, it sounds rather grand, but I’m writing on this subject for a very particular reason: We are now in the second week of the new year and I have had to stop taking new one-to-one clients as I am fully booked now until the end of March. I’m unable to take on any more coaching, mentoring or hypnotherapy clients for a while. One lady emailed me and I explained the situation to her and sent her on the details of a couple of other hypnotherapists, who I rate highly and who I knew would do a great job. She then rang me and asked me if I could find the time somehow, she was really looking for a situation. I explained in detail – she rang me and emailed me again. In the end, she said “I only want to work with you Adam.” There is nothing else for me to add to this – any service she received would be a compromise from anyone else. In her mind, I was indispensable.
Once my ego had deflated slightly, I explored this. There are a number of reasons for how that mindset developed within her, and that is what today’s article is all about. Being perceived as indispensable is great for a business such as mine where I actively seek students, clients in a market place where there is a lot of competition. Likewise, for anyone else, being perceived as indispensable in your job, your relationships, in teams and so on, can really advance a number of aspects of life.
“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”- Howard Thurman
If you want to move your career forward or another area of your life and are seeking a change or advancement then you might like to establish yourself as indispensable. Not in a way whereby you’ll never be able to progress or do anything else, but in a way where you are recognized as being incredibly valuable.
In other words, aiming to make yourself the sort of person who can be relied on, performs consistently, offers great value and much more besides. Of course, much of this relates to the work-place or your career, but it can be related to a much wider range of areas in life – memberships, team roles, in groups, in friendships, inter-personal relationships and in many other roles.
Here are some of the things you can do to make yourself indispensable.
Build good, quality relationships:
One of the (not so secret) secrets of the most successful people is building good relationships. Collaborative research by TINYpulse and Microsoft Workplace Analytics revealed that employees who had the largest number of connections among their peers in the workplace had the most influence. Knowing people who share your interest, hobbies, or profession is a great way to expand your own knowledge, learn new things but also advance your influence and perceived value. In life, we all meet different kinds of people, negative and positive ones, but both are ok. Connecting with different types of people can take you a long way- you can learn to adjust to different personalities, you’ll be more flexible, and you can acquire skills that are necessary to “survive” and excel in more diverse types of social environment. Let the negative people motivate you into becoming better and let them be a reminder of the person you don’t want to be, and learn how to deal with them effectively or how to help uplift and serve them despite that negativity. And, let the positive ones inspire you to become the best person that you can be, who you can also learn from in a number of other ways. With every encounter you have – seek to connect deeply, seek to learn more.
Think of football coaches: they often build their team and work with players for years, and then they get headhunted and move to another club, and and one of the things they often attempt to do is to bring in their own team of coaches and staff, and recruit some of the key players they have worked with at the previous club. Where one goes, others often follow. Some coaches and key players move together all the way through their playing life. Because just as the players think that the coach has made them succeed, the coach thinks that the players have helped him or her succeed. For example, here in the England, the national England team head coach Gareth Southgate gives opportunities to players he worked with and knew while he was England Under 21 manager. Here are a couple of articles to help you advance your relationships:
a) Learning To Listen Hypnotically To Enhance Your Relationships.
b) What We Can Learn From Arranged Marriages & The Hypnotherapist’s Working Alliance To Have Better Relationships.
c) Using Self-Hypnosis To Understand People Better.
Focus on developing your skills, instead of promotion:
You get presented with opportunities because you have the necessary skills needed to fulfill them. But do you have the skills, the drive, the desire and the mindset to go the extra mile? If you are already good at something, don’t stop learning! There is still always something to improve about yourself. Be open to criticisms, new ideas, and new opportunities. In the field of hypnotherapy, I meet so many hypnotherapists who have not developed, who struggle to make a living and struggle to be perceived as indispensable in the slightest because they often do not know how and have not continued to develop.
Master the arts of optimism and gratitude:
Possessing a positive attitude is a choice we can make that is filled with rewards. To be indispensable, be good to be around – be that guy that people love being around because it feels good to be around your and your positivity or warmth etc. Some people blame their negativity on bad experiences in the past or on other people, and while this is often justified, it is still an excuse for their pessimism that they are ultimately in control of; they often fail to see that bad experiences are opportunities to grow and improve one’s self. Train yourself to be more positive by always choosing to see opportunity in every difficulty. Your social activities and thoughts contribute the biggest factor on how you live your life. The more you think positively, the more proactively you will set and reach your goals. This positive attitude will then emanate to everyone you connect with, which will help build good relationships and a good working environment.
When change is imminent, adopt the mindset that change provides opportunity, remain positive, and don’t dwell on the danger but dwell on the opportunity.
A survey from the John Templeton Foundation found that 60% of respondents said they “either never express gratitude at work or do so perhaps once a year.” Simply, saying “thank you” is good for your mental health and good for your overall health too. According to Harvard Health research, acknowledging fundraisers’ work with donors led to a 50% increase in their productivity. Here are a couple of great articles to help you with optimism:
a) 11 Ways to Be More Optimistic and Increase Optimism.
b) Have Increased Optimism: Using Self-Hypnosis To Be More Optimistic.
To earn respect, you must show respect:
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you!
Some keys to success when it comes to building strong professional relationships include listening to people, giving them your time, being a good communicator, giving and taking feedback, and finally, being trusting and more empathetic towards people. Treat everyone with genuine respect. Look out for the people around you, be there when they need help, and be their confidante when they need to confide something or need some advice. This will put you in a good place especially when things take a turn for the worse. When you have built strong relationships based on trust and respect, it will increase your chances of not getting left behind, being valued and also you derive great gain from the emotional and psychological sustenance that respectful relationships give you.
Always deliver more than expected:
A big ethos of my college and my one-to-one work is something I was taught very early on in my career by a wonderful mentor; “aim to under-sell and over-deliver.” In particular, do not do the reverse; that is setting yourself up for a fall. You want substance and not just a loud voice. As a hypnotherapist this is key to me in the way I conceptualise hypnosis. I explain it in very ordinary, sobering terms and do not sell it as magical or set things up by selling the magic first. I like the results to provide the magic, and when they do, it is a beautiful thing. When indispensability becomes short-lived, it’s often because an organization or customer tires of the burdens associated with a difficult, challenging and on occasions arrogant personality. What about talented people who take a genuine interest in helping others? Such people do exist, and Adam Grant, a Wharton management professor, has spent the past few years chronicling their habits. In his new book, “Give and Take,” Grant contrasts the career destinies of such “givers,” contrasting them with more aggressive “takers.” Guess what? Even though the givers’ generosity sometimes backfires, overall, they end up as the most successful and well-adjusted people.
If you can take a moment and bring awareness to the action you are about to take or the words you are about to say, you are moving away from reacting and into responding.
This year, think about how to be indispensable, think of ways you can become indispensable – where you are the number one choice. Develop relationships, serve others, give respect, be humble and look to develop on an ongoing basis, be optimistic and express gratitude – then actively choose your perspective each day and respond rather than react and you will be well on your way to happiness and fulfillment in any position you find yourself in.
Have some of themes here resonated with you? Then have a read of these pages:
1. Do you need help or support in a particular area of your life?
Coaching with Adam Eason Or Hypnotherapy with Adam Eason
2. Would you like a satisfying and meaningful career as a hypnotherapist helping others? Are you a hypnotherapist looking for stimulating and career enhancing continued professional development and advanced studies?
Adam Eason’s Anglo European training college.
3. Are you a hypnotherapist looking to fulfil your ambitions or advance your career?
Hypnotherapist Mentoring with Adam Eason.
Likewise, if you’d like to learn more about self-hypnosis, understand the evidence based principles of it from a scientific perspective and learn how to apply it to many areas of your life while having fun and in a safe environment and have the opportunity to test everything you learn, then come and join me for my one day seminar which does all that and more, have a read here: The Science of Self-Hypnosis Seminar.Alternatively, go grab a copy of my Science of self-hypnosis book.