Within therapy, many therapists have their clients write and use journals for all manner of things; from highlighting eating habits and recording food intake, to helping focus on the things that made you feel happy that day, there is evidence that suggests writing things down has much beneficial therapeutic gain.
Many people write diaries and find them to have therapeutic gain, even if that is not the aim, and my own candy floss machine theory on writing thoughts down is one I talk about a great deal with clients and students alike (you can read about my candy floss theory here).
More sophisticated processes of writing issues down have shown that they can be incredibly effective in therapy too – in cognitive behavioural therapy, thought forms are very useful for helping to deal with unhelpful cognitions.
I could go on and on about the virtues of writing stuff down for therapeutic gain. I am using this in a rather different manner with today’s self-hypnosis strategy though…
Following on from the theme I initiated last week about using hypnosis enhance relationships, today I am offering up a process that can be used for a wide variety of issues, but that we are using in a very particular way.
Sometimes our previous experiences with relationships have resulted in us being, thinking and feeling a particular way and may even have resulted in us having problematic ways of being when we are in a relationship. Relationships that we are keen to work may encounter problems as a result.
With this self-hypnosis session, you go through a process of writing a letter whilst hypnotised and you get the opportunity to express your self, create some emotional clarity, enhance your peace of mind, and experience some relief. The main aim is that you benefit today by expressing yourself in relation to previous experiences, by writing to someone you were previously in a relationship with, that perhaps caused you some ongoing problems; this may include you being overly cautious, jealous, angry, impatient or un-trusting as well as feeling insecure or unable to express your feelings or communicate in a way that represents how you feel with accuracy. This process may offer you a way of getting some closure on relationships that ended in a particular way, and thus leading the way to some emotional freedom and even optimism as you embark on other relationships.
This process aims to make us more effective in our current relationship. Or in our prospective relationships.
Sometimes issues can get bottled up and this session is a lovely way to be able to let go of that in a natural and harmonious, gentle way.
We are using this process with self-hypnosis here, but it is not to be used by oneself if you have particularly painful, or traumatic memories – that would require the skills of a trained professional to deal with. We are using this process to help create new perspective and to be more functional in relationships. Please do not use it to deal with other kinds of traumatic episodes in your life – bringing that sort of stuff up without the assistance of someone else could possibly make you feel worse.
6 Steps To Write A Hypnotic Letter To Enhance Your Relationships:
Prior to starting this process, get a sense of who it is you are going to write the letter to and then get in a comfortable position where you are going to be undisturbed for the duration of this session and get started with the following steps:
Step One: Induce hypnosis. You can do so by any means you desire or know of. You can use the process in my Science of self-hypnosis book, use the free audio we give away on this website to practice or have a look at the following articles as and when you need them; they are basic processes to help you simply open the door of your mind:
Heavy Arm Self-Hypnosis Induction Method
Using Eye Fixation for Self-Hypnosis
The Chiasson Self-Hypnosis Method
Hand to Face Self-Hypnosis Induction
Using Magnetic Hands for Self-Hypnosis
The Coin Drop Self-Hypnosis Induction
However, with this process, an induction is potentially too much activity, so I teach my clients how to adopt a hypnotic mindset and simply have a mindset that is positive and expectant. Again, to really understand the cognitive set of the hypnotic mindset, go grab a copy of my Science of self-hypnosis book where it is explained in simple but comprehensive terms.
Once you have induced hypnosis, move on to step two.
Step Two: Imagine a pen, create it in detail in your mind. Make it the colour, size and shape of your preference. Imagine holding it in your writing hand; feel the weight of it, the texture in your hand and tell yourself that as you imagine it in more detail, you drift deeper inside your mind.
This pen is a creation of your mind and so has a connection with it – a direct connection to your mind. It is also controlled by your mind, so that you can use your imagination and your will to use the pen with the most effectiveness.
As you hold the pen in your hand, start to imagine a piece of paper there in your mind, in front of you. Make it a piece of paper that is going to be used for you to write a letter on. Then with the pen in your hand and the paper in front of you, move on to the next step.
Step Three: Think about the person that you are writing this letter to, someone who you feel needs to know how you feel, or how you think. As you think about who it is going to be written to, also think about how you are going to benefit and think about the ways you are going to be better in relationships by letting go and moving forward.
With that person in mind, write the words “Dear ….” And fill in the persons name. With your pen on the paper, ready to start writing your letter, now move on to the next step.
Step Four: Now let your mind and pen begin to work together. Control and watch the pen start to write and express what you need to communicate.
You may have a good idea of what needs to be said and so you can simply choose the words that are written and watch as they are displayed on the paper. Or you may allow your mind to direct you and advise you of what needs to be written and those words are written up on the paper.
Notice how the feelings attached to the words seem to be expelled and let go of as you write. In fact imagine certain feelings being diffused by the words as they are written up and absorbed by the paper.
Let the feelings go and be released via the paper, maybe without you really even noticing them in a ‘felt’ way, just letting them go in a gentle manner as you continue to write the letter, communicating yourself with more and more ease.
If you find it difficult to write what you want to say, choose to write how you feel and what reason you have for feeling this way. You might simply explain that you want to feel better and start to be better when in relationships. Explain the difficulties you have encountered as a result of this – be as candid as you can be, remember that you are the only person who is going to actually see this letter.
Express yourself in writing in the way that suits you best. Imagine letting go at the same time.
Continue to take all the time you require to get the letter written, and only stop writing when you are sure that you can and do feel different and better in some way.
Step Five: Now notice that as you have let go of old feelings and expressed old issues, notice how you feel – some people feel lighter, like a weight has been lifted. Others notice an easiness in sensation within themselves.
Spread some relaxation and lightness through your body by using a progressive relaxation technique here – it’ll help desensitize and let go of any anxiety that may have spilled over while writing. You might imagine the relaxation and lightness as a colour that you spread through the body, for example.
Start to also think of the ways in which the old experiences have actually made you better, wiser, stronger and more certain that you’ll be better equipped to enjoy your relationships even more in the future.
Mentally imagine how things are different for you now – see yourself, within a relationship, notice how you communicate effectively, are able to develop the relationship, are able to enjoy being in that relationship and notice how your partner responds and enjoys you being this way. Notice how great that makes you feel, to know that you have let go of old barriers and are moving ahead with this relationship, knowing that you are doing all that you can to make sure it is as good as it can be, regardless of what happened in the past.
Think about some action that you can take this very day that is proof to you that you are developing and are making positive changes when it comes to your relationships. Really make sure that you go and do that thing.
Once you have relaxed, reframed the experiences into a progressive part of your development and mentally rehearsed how things are going to be in the future as a result of this experience, then move on to the final step.
Step Six: Exit hypnosis. Wiggle your fingers and toes. Take a couple of deep breaths, then open your eyes and go about your day. Make sure that you go and take that action to show yourself that you have really benefited from what you have done in this session.
Enjoy that and I’ll be back soon with more ways to use self-hypnosis to enhance your relationships.
If you’d like to learn more or if this article has resonated with you in some way, then visit these pages:
1. Have issues or themes such as those mentioned here held you back and/or are they still doing so now?
Coaching with Adam Eason Or Hypnotherapy with Adam Eason.
2. Would you like a satisfying and meaningful career as a hypnotherapist helping others to overcome issues and deal with themes such as those mentioned here?
Adam Eason’s Anglo European training college.
3. Are you a hypnotherapist for whom similar issues and themes are detrimentally effecting the success of your business?
Hypnotherapist Mentoring with Adam Eason.
If you’d like to learn more about self-hypnosis, understand the evidence based principles of it from a scientific perspective and learn how to apply it to many areas of your life while having fun and in a safe environment and have the opportunity to test everything you learn, then come and join me for my one day seminar which does all that and more, have a read here: The Science of Self-Hypnosis Seminar.
This exercise seems like it could be very beneficial since it makes one focus on oneself before looking at the relationship. You mention that the letter writing aspect can be used in a variety of situations, but caution against using it in self-hypnosis for very emotional memories. So what else could this be used for when self-hypnotizing?