So this weekend, as well as having a Christmas boys night out, attending a Church Christmas play with my family, having a lunch with some of my school friends and much more besides, I was very busy… Wherever we went, people asked me about my work… Even people that have known me for years do keep on asking me about it… And when they ask, it often brings questions up for me to ask too…
Over the years, I have learned to accept the fact that at parties, I get cornered by people wanting to know about hypnotherapy. There all kinds of things I can say and do that instil huge amounts of intrigue and keep people fascinated for hours… Such is the thought process and very nature of hypnosis and hypnotherapy.
Heck, if you then start pointing out the subtle body language that people are displaying at the party and how the group dynamics would be classified in psychotherapy, they’ll be entranced. (The irnoy being that I’ll become a monopoliser, though there’ll always be at least one resistant rebel in the room).
When discussing it, people tend to assume you have no therapeutic issues of your own. And it tends to start begging the question – would you go to see a hypnotherapist who smoked heavily to help you stop smoking? Would you go to see a hypnotherapist who was HUGE to reduce your weight? Would you want to work with a therapist of any kind who had not been in therapy themselves? It is a tough call, because maybe they are less believable, or some might think less effective, yet there are equally convincing arguments for being able to show someone how to do something without having to have done it yourself, aren’t there?
If I were to ask you to think of a doctor who’s never been a medical patient, or to imagine a teacher who’s never been a pupil, would you think that unusual? How would you know what those jobs entail if you’ve never seen it from the other side, much less any side? Then there’s the notion of influence and adoption of ideas. How would you know what you’d want to emulate, reject or revamp? And lastly, and most curious to me: How can you believe in the work of therapy and sell it to your clients — without actually having experienced it in some way? So do hypnotherapists need to have had hypnotherapy?
I am not sitting on either side of the fence as far as this blog entry is concerned, I am just asking questions.
Personally, I have had all manner of therapy. As a younger man dealing with my own demons, I rejected many kinds of therapy before I found hypnotherapy helped me in a number of ways and as such wanted to become a hypnotherapist. Despite a vast amount of academic study and additional training that I have been through over the past 20 years, it is the therapy I have been through and my own client sessions that have taught me even more.
That said, over the years of training people to be hypnotherapists, I get a very different sense when it comes to those that have not had therapy themselves…. A few are just incredibly emotionally healthy, with resiliency and resourcefulness that could match or beat any of the winners of ‘I’m a celebrity, get me outta here’ (with or without the insect eating). A few have taught themselves self-help skills that didn’t come so naturally to me in the early days. A few come from families where you keep problems close to your chest. And then there are those who feel much more comfortable caring for others than being cared for by others.
In the long run, I don’t know if a background as a ‘therapee’ will matter. I know what I like and what I don’t like, but then, most people learn that in other ways for themselves. just because my journey brought me to where I am, that does nto necessarily mean it is the same journey that all should go on, does it? In the end, I do not think clients really know the difference.
It is an interesting debate… Enjoy your Monday 🙂
It’s an interesting one…
I think we all, however well trained, come from our own belief system and that our clients are attracted by that. So, if our belief is that you can easily do anything you put your mind to then that will attract some people and if you believe that you can achieve what you want but you have to work hard at it then that will attract others. If there is too much apparent disparity beween the beliefs of the therapist and client then it probably won’t be an easy match initially.
The danger comes if there is too much of the therapist’s belief in the mix and it’s not helpful to the client. I know I’ve met people on courses who have used the training to try and sort their own stuff out and then have projected that onto the clients that come their way.
Thought provoking as ever.
Thank you Sharon.
I would never have been the theraist I am today had I not been through the therapeutic processes I have been through, as I have stated already. Yet I have encoutnered therapists (and trained therapists) who experienced successful theray and because they believed in what they went through so much, they applied their own journey to everyone else they encountered, which is not the way forward.
There is no real simple answer, someone in my members area stated that most Gynaecologists are men and not been through the processes they have been through… I’d suggest that therapy is slightly different, but heck, I understand where people come from.
Adam,
I think we all need hypnosis, even if we are hypnotists! Although we man not call it that. Remember as a hypnotist, we all have one great tool for improving ourselves, our business and our clients : Self hypnosis.
As we grow and develop, we all come up against new blocks, limiting decisions and emotions. As the person having these ‘things’. We don’t always realise or know. It is always great to have a mentor or buddy to have a weekly session with. Doing regular self hypnosis on oneself, is brilliant.
Happy Days
A
Thank you Andrew,
Having written a bestselling book on the subject, running seminars for over 10 years on it and having my main audio programme on the subject too, I am sold on the virtues of self-hypnosis. 🙂
There is a massive difference between self-hypnosis and hetero hypnotherapy though, isn’t there?
I write regularly here, throughout my ezine and many other thousands of words on developing a regular self-hypnosis practice for oneself…. But that was not really my topic of discussion…
The poignant debate, one which is theorised over in many a hypnotherapy conference corner, is whether or not we need to have experienced hypnotherapy in order to be a good hypnotherapist.
I absolutley think we need ongoing processes and tools in order to keep ourselves well and functioning to our best… I certainly find it easier to teach self-hypnosis having experienced it daily for 15 years previously… Yet is it necessary to have experienced it in order to teach it well?
It is an interesting debate – thank you for your addition, it is warmly received.
Best wishes, A.
I trained as a hypnotherapist to be able to carry out some research. When I trained my tutor told us if we smoked we had to give up, if we had a phobia we had to deal with it. I had a phobia of driving, I hadn’t driven for 13 years. I managed to change that after 3 sessions and the rest is history, I decided to become a therapist on the strength of my experience, and I drive all over the place and feel great. On the whole I think that therapists benefit from changing their problems around, as it’s what we show others to do. I know of therapists and councellors who need it themselves.
Best Regards
Penny
Hello Penny, thank you for your contribution, it is very much appreciated.
I’m going to play devils advocate…
So do you think that Usain Bolt’s coach needs to be able to run as fast as him to help him become the athlete he is? Should Milton Erickson not be allowed to work with people who were able-bodied as he was disabled and confined to a wheel chair? … Could he work with athletes wanting to enhance their performance, or advise clients wishing to weigh less to be more active on their two feet, for example?
I am not standing on that side of the fence on this discussion, just interested to see how far other therapists believe that they should be an example and where is the line drawn (if at all)?
Thanks again, lovely to hear from you, A.