Keeping hot on the trail of Monday and Tuesday’s love inspired blog entries of this week, I wanted to build upon what I wrote and show you how to use self-hypnosis to feel more love for yourself. Firstly, I do recommend you read yesterday’s article How to Love Yourself This Valentine’s Day as this will really get your mind into a good place and help you start taking some action with regards to loving yourself more, and today’s self-hypnosis process will have maximum effect as a result.
This particular process today has a number of variations from related fields such as NLP, Gestalt therapy and CBT, there is even a version of this technique suggested in Paul McKenna & Hugh Willbourn’s book ‘How To Mend Your Broken Heart.’
The basic premise is that you are going to step into the shoes of someone else who has love for you, and tap into that love, feel it and wear it yourself and create a feeling of advanced love for yourself. Simply follow these steps:
Step One: Essential preparation for enhanced effectiveness.
Think of someone who loves you (or it could be someone who loved you who is not in your life anymore). Ideally someone who accepts you as you are and loves you for who you are. This can be anyone at all. This process is really designed to be an uplifting session, so think of someone whose love will fortify you and ideally, not someone who will stimulate too much heavy emotion.
There is a great episode of Red Dwarf, where the crew fall prey to the “Despair Squid” on an ocean planet while salvaging from a derelict vessel at the bottom of the ocean. The squid squirted the ship with ink that had hallucinogenic properties that created despair in the crew members. They realise that they have been infected and head back to their own ship incredibly quickly to get a mood stabiliser. On the lift back to the top of the ship Dave Lister says “I don’t seem to have been effected…. Though it is true to say that no-one ever truly loved me in my entire life….” and starts crying as despair sets in. It is really funny!
Soooo…. If you feel that you are unable to think of anyone who has ever loved you, or also feel a bit like you have been hit by the despair squid, not to worry. Simply imagine what it would be like – that is, create someone in your imagination and imagine what they would look, behave and think like when they have love and acceptance toward you etc.
With all of this in mind, then answer these questions:
If love was a colour, what colour is that for you?
If love was sound, what sound is that for you?
If love is a feeling, what is that feeling for you?
Just get a sense of these things in your mind and draw upon your answers later on in this session. Equipped with that information, now proceed to step two.
Step Two: Induce Hypnosis.
You can do so by any means you desire or know of. You can use the process in my Science of self-hypnosis book, use the free audio we give away on this website to practice or have a look at the following articles as and when you need them; they are basic processes to help you simply open the door of your mind:
Heavy Arm Self-Hypnosis Induction Method
Using Eye Fixation for Self-Hypnosis
The Chiasson Self-Hypnosis Method
Hand to Face Self-Hypnosis Induction
Using Magnetic Hands for Self-Hypnosis
The Coin Drop Self-Hypnosis Induction
Once you have induced hypnosis, move on to step three.
Step Three: Imagine being in a place where you are totally comfortable, feeling safe and secure, at ease and right at home. A place where you can relax. As you set the scene in your mind, seeing the sights, hearing the sounds, feeling the sounds of comfort that you associate with this place, let there be two chairs of any kind positioned face-to-face in this place. Then go and sit in one of the seats.
Imagine the seat is wonderfully comfortable, almost as if it was designed especially for you. Let yourself settle deeper into the chair, imagine it molding and melding itself to the exact contours of your body. Imagine settling deeper into the chair and relaxing. Tell yourself that every sight, every sound, every feeling takes you deeper and deeper into hypnosis.
Spend enough time on this step so that you really associate yourself within the setting, developing a good hypnotic mindset, and when you feel ready, move on to the next step.
Step Four: Sat in the comfortable chair, now see that person (that you thought of in step one) sat opposite you. Notice the way that person is holding his/her body, notice the clothes they are wearing, the posture, manner and notice that they are also comfortable in that chair directly opposite you. Let every sound, sight and feeling take you deeper into this experience.
Recognise now though, that this person loves you. Notice how you can tell that. Perhaps it is the look in the eyes, or something that the person says to you. Just notice what it is that let’s you be undeniably convinced that this person loves you and accepts you for who you are. When you have really got that in your mind and are sure of it, start to imagine a wonderful thing happening…..
Imagine floating up and out of your body, leaving your body beautifully comfortable at ease in the chair. Float over to the other person and float down and step into that person’s shoes. Be them. Don’t think “I am John acting as if I am Bill.” Instead think “I am Bill.” Be that person in every way.
See through those eyes, hear through those ears, feel with that heart. Be that person in every way. Be focused and truly associate with this person. Adopt the values, the opinions, the thought processes of this person. Be this person.
Now look across from you and see the person in the chair opposite. Notice your love for that person. Notice all the things that you love about that person sat in that chair looking comfortable and ease. Get eye contact with that other person (just as a reminder, that other person is/was you – the you who started this exercise. Obviously, you are someone else now for this step). Feel the love within you that you have for this person, recognise all the things that you love about this person, notice where in your body you feel that love, notice the thoughts that you think and absolutely know that you love this person you are sat opposite.
Say something to that person that tells them and let’s them know for sure, that they are loved by you.
Then, when you have really explored, felt and discovered the love you have for that person, enjoy it for a few moments and move on to the next step.
Step Five: Holding on to all of those feelings, thoughts, beliefs and sensations of love, for a second time, float up and out of the body of this person. Keep all the love, bring it with you on every level. Float back across to the original chair, step back into your own shoes. Once again, see through your own eyes, hear with your own ears, feel with your own heart.
Firstly, hear the message that is being spoken to you by the person you are sat opposite. Receive their message of love and let it enhance, expand and magnify the love you brought back with you.
You brought all the love with you. This is love FOR you! Now referring to your answers from step one’s preparation…..
Spread the colour of love all through your body.
Spread the sound of love through your body.
Spread the feeling of love through your body.
From the top of your head to the tips of your toes. Inside out and outside in. Bask in the feelings of love for yourself. Become really familiar with them, enjoy them and love the truth and honesty of this love.
Keep it with you. Love yourself more. Then move on to the next step.
Step Six: Positive cognitions.
Holding those wonderful feelings, now repeat a positive cognition to yourself, say it like you truly believe it, like it feels true at an emotional level, be undeniably convincing in the way you speak it to yourself, something along the lines of:
“I love myself more and more”
“I increasingly love being me”
“I see so much to love in me”
“I enjoy the love I have for myself”
OR use a cognition that feels right and accurate to you. Repeat it over and over with meaning and let it enhance the feelings of love you have for yourself before you move on to the next step.
Quick tip: I like to imagine that I am hugging myself when repeating these loving cognitions, you might like to do the same.
Step Seven: Reflection.
Just reflect intelligently for a few moments. So that as well as being able to build the feelings, you are equally able to recognise the good this is going to do, and have a worthy rationale for continuing to practice this process.
How will this positively effect your life now that you have more love for yourself? What will you do? How will you behave? What will you achieve? How are things going to be better?
When you have thoughtfully reflected, move on to the final step.
Step Eight: Exit hypnosis.
If you use my own protocol as shown in my science of self-hypnosis book, count yourself up and out from one through to five. Otherwise, open your eyes, wiggle your toes and get oriented to the place you are in.
Practice this process daily. Use the cognitions in your daily life to boost your love for yourself. With some concerted effort, building and boosting the love you have for yourself will have notable positive effects upon you and your life and you can enjoy feeling love all year round. Enjoy the sustenance it gives you, and I’ll be back soon.
If you’d like to be guided through a hypnotic process aimed at helping you to love yourself more then I offer an audio programme for just £2.99 here, you’ll be delighted you did: Love Yourself More.
I’ll leave you and this week’s loving theme with the very wonderful song by Danny WIlson, The Second Summer of Love…. “And there was love, love, love, love, anyone could see, there was looooooove, love all over me….” Awesome, enjoy!