Adam Up

This weekend, I was at the Pavilion theatre in Bournemouth, near where I work and live. It is a fabulous, although rather aged theatre. As we watched the singers belting out some beautiful and stunning songs for our enjoyment, my mind imagined what this theatre had seen over the years. Four singers who had all been West End premiers in Les Miserables and other shows made the current batch of contestants on ITV's X-Factor seem very ordinary and uninspiring, I have to say — we had a marvelous time.

Theatres like this one were very grand in their day and seem to have a sense about them that generates all kinds of feelings for me. Theatres and stages often provide a great basis for a metaphor or two in personal development too…

Well, last week marked a very sad day for English football… We lost at home to Croatia… Croatia did not need anything from the game; they had already qualified for the European championships in Austria and Switzerland this Summer. We needed a point to go through… We lost 3-2.

I am not going to rant on about how players should perform better for the money they earn… Or that here are so many foreign players in the English league now that the English pool of talent is diminishing… Or about the quality of coaching and all those other millions of subjects being banded around the popular media in England at the moment.

What interested me was in one of the interviews that the (now sacked) England manager, Steve McClaren, said after the game that a part of him knew that certain decisions were wrong.

Hmmm… Interesting thought, eh?

I know that when I work with clients, even though they want to stop smoking, a part of them may derive some perverse security from smoking at certain times. Even though someone may wish to reduce their weight, a part of them may derive some comfort from eating the wrong things at certain times. Even though someone wants to be free of their phobia, a part of them is protected by that fear…

In her book, Your Many Faces, Virginia Satir presents the core theory of a technique that is used by therapists all over the country and especially NLP practitioners. It is commonly called the Parts Party. I've seen this exercise adapted in various ways by different schools of therapy. In today's Adam Up, I want to offer you a different variation of this very powerful exercise, that is light hearted while it is extremely profound.

Article continued: 8 Steps To Host Your Own Hypnotic Parts Party!

Just follow these simple steps:

Step One: Develop a sense of being in the moment and being receptive. Begin by being in a quiet place where you will be undisturbed, have your arms and legs uncrossed and just allow yourself to relax. Ideally, go get my book, The Secrets of Self-Hypnosis, and take yourself into a nice receptive state of hypnosis. Or use whatever relaxation technique or meditative skill that you know to develop an open, still mind.

Have a few moments engaging in the moment. As Jacquelyn Small says, "There is nothing that has to be done; there is only someone to be."

Step Two: Engage in this moment. You might want to start by becoming aware of the sensation of air passing through your nostrils. Feel its touch. Notice in what part of the nostrils you feel the touch of the air when you inhale, and in what part of the nostrils you feel the touch of air when you exhale. Become aware of the temperature of the air. As unusual as it may sound, imagine that you breathe into your forehead and become aware of any sensations in your forehead. It makes mindful breathing so much easier.

Continue to be aware of any sensation around your eyes, around your mouth, in your neck and shoulders. Simply be aware of the sensations. Continue through your entire body. Omit no part of you as you tune in to yourself, accepting how you feel. You may find some parts of you completely devoid of sensation. Keep focused on those parts. If no sensation emerges, move on…

Once you get to your toes, you may want to run through that again to really deepen the process. Do this until you feel nicely tuned into the moment and tuned in to your body in its entirety. Feel your entire body as one mass of various types of sensations. Notice now the deep stillness that has come over you and enjoy being completely still. Notice that deep stillness of your body. Ensure that you are not moving any part of your body. Each time you feel an urge of any kind, don't give in to it, just be aware of it as sharply as you can. This may be challenging and even painful for you at first. You may become tense. Just be aware of the tenseness… Stay with it and the tension disappears. Accept who and how you are in these moments.

Step Three: Spend a few moments just being mindful of your breathing. And then imagine in your mind a stage door. See the colour of this door, imagine the size of it, imagine a stage door of some kind — in whatever way you imagine it to be.

Open that door, and walk through the stage door and see a beautiful theatre. Notice the walls and the stage. Notice the closed curtain. Notice the auditorium in as much detail as you can before you sit down in a front row seat. Feel the fabric of the seat, maybe it is your favourite fabric. Feel it as you sit down. Allow yourself to be as comfortable as you possibly can. Take all the time necessary for you to feel this.

Step Four: Now imagine the curtain beginning to open. Let yourself feel the excitement that goes with such an opening. As the curtain opens see a large sign covering the wall of the stage. It reads, "The (put your name) Parts Review." Think of some part of yourself that you really like and see some famous person or someone you know well who represents that part walk out on the stage.

I like my sense of humour and so I see Eddie Izzard or Peter Cook walk out. Hear a rapturous applause. Then think of another part of you that you really like and repeat the process. I like my speaking ability and I see Bill Clinton walk onto the stage. I like my sense of compassion, so I imagine the Dalai Lama, or my very first therapist walk on to stage, you get the idea here, don't you? Repeat this until five people are on the right hand side of the stage and then move on to the next step.

Step Five: Ok, now think of a part of yourself you don't like so much and see that part walk onto the stage as personified by a famous person or someone you know. I don't like my tendency to be disorganized from time to time and I see a very unkempt friend of mine walk onto the stage.

You might want to imagine a resounding 'Boo!' as if you have an audience in your theatre. Then think of another part that you don't like. I don't like the part of me that is sometimes selfish, so I imagine Judas Iscariot or some other person coming on to stage. It is important that you make these as personal to you as possible.

Step Six: Finally, after five parts you dislike or reject are standing on the left side of the stage, imagine that a wise and beautiful person walks to the centre of the stage. This person can look like an old man with a beard or a radiant youth like Jesus or a warm nurturing mother or whatever is right for you — let it be your own interpretation. As you let your wise person appear, see that person walking off the stage and coming to get you. As the wise person approaches, hear that person invite you to come up on the stage and review your many parts.

Walk around each person who represents a part of you; look into the eyes of each person. How does each part help you? How does each part hinder or limit you, especially your undesirable parts? What can you learn from your undesirable parts? What can they teach you? Now imagine they are all interacting. Imagine them at a table discussing a problem. Think of a current problem you have. What does your humour say about it? How is that helpful? How does it hinder you? How does your disorganization help you? What would happen if you simply didn't have this part? What would you lose? How would you like to change the part you want to reject? Modify that part in the way it would be more beneficial… How does it feel to modify that part?…

Take all the time necessary to absorb as much learning from this as possible.

Step Seven: Now go around and repeat that procedure with every single part. Modify it until it feels right for you. Then walk up to each part and imagine that part melting into you. Do this until you are alone on the stage with your wise person. Hear the wise person tell you that this is the theatre of your life. This is the place you can come and review your many selves from time to time. Hear the wise person tell you that all these parts belong to you, that each has its own complementariness in your psychic balance. Make a decision to embrace your selves; to love and accept and learn from all your parts. See your wise person walk away. Thank that person for the lesson.

Step Eight: Walk down off the stage. Be aware of yourself sitting in the theatre looking at the stage whereon you play out your life. Let your mind see each of your newly modified parts float by and feel yourself as one entire organism with many aspects and interdynamic parts. Like when you were tuning into yourself earlier.

Take a moment or two to accept yourself as you are and accept all the parts because this helps integrate all their perspectives. Then, digest all you can, spend as long as you feel necessary and helpful before you get up to walk out of your theatre.

Open your eyes, wiggle your fingers and toes and relax.

This week, get tuned in to all those various parts of you, all those aspects of who you are and use them to help you with any challenges or issues you may be facing. Alternatively, just do this for some fun or to help you change some perspective or shine some light on something.

Read this week's Joke of the Week!

Very New Age Technology Alert!

Thank you very much for sending that in, very funny indeed. Please keep those jokes coming in — I love getting them.

Continue onto 'Your Questions Answered'

How Long Does It Take To Notice The Effects Of Hypnosis?

I was asked by a few people this week and I get asked it a lot —

How long will it be until I start to notice the effects the hypnosis?

As with most of the questions I get asked, there really is no black and white answer to this.

Of course, we need to think about what you are wanting to achieve — if you are reducing weight, you are not going to reduce it by five stone overnight, are you? If you are looking to develop your wealth, you are not going to earn £1,000,000 overnight either, are you?

The consciousness often changes immediately and the mindset can change in an instant – though it does not mean you are not developing progressively if you do not have an immediate response.

With all of my private clients, I always set them tasks and give them reading and psychological exercises to complete which helps to enhance and reinforce the hypnosis sessions. This can take time and the individual may experience a thorough, momentous increase in the desired effect.

You response to hypnosis is dependent on many things — current mindset, your actions in response to the hypnosis, your internal dialogue and level of receptivity. If you wish to understand your own personal response, you are more than welcome to get in touch with me and I can ask you a couple of questions to give you an idea of the sort of time I'd expect you to notice tangible changes in the direction of what you want to achieve.